The Babbling Toad

Redeemer Saviour Friend

2011-03-07T22:10:00.002+11:00

Today, I was brought to face to passing of my grand aunt. She's the youngest sister of my paternal grandmother, who was diagnosed with bowel cancer at its very late stages sometime middle of 2009, yet, a miracle of her own, because she managed to survive until today.

She had lost so much weight through the course of the condition. The cycles of chemotherapy, followed by bouts of nausea and vomiting, from loss of appetite to severe weight loss, from a sudden change in bowel habits to severe debilitating pain dependent on morphine - it really was not an easy time.

Today, there is nothing I can do to help from afar, but I can only thank God for seeing her through thicks and thins, and now, for freeing her from the sufferings of this mortal world. May the Lord strengthen her immediate family members as they face this challenge, and make them believe in the eternal salvation that you have promised. And dear Lord, I specially pray, that you instill courage and strength in this cousin of mine who is now still in New Zealand, that she may be able to handle all of these with minimal sorrow, and shower her with peace as you heal her from this hurt.

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let the perpetual light shine upon her. May the soul of this faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Amen.

Sayonara

2011-02-24T20:34:00.003+11:00

Last night was one of the rare occasions where I lie down in bed and despite forcing shut the eyes, I just could not fell asleep.

And it was through one of these occasions where I had the opportunity to clear the clogging in my mind, and think about things that I usually don't think when I am conscious.

I thought about next year, where I want to be, the change in life that I want and how am I going to make them happen. Just out of no where, I got this influx of ideas on how to make life the way I want it to be and I felt so pumped about what is to come! I forgot how amazing it feels to live with a target. It really made a difference because I know, unlike my dreams to stay in UK, this dream is far easier to achieve and the limit is within my own hands. Its my dream, and I shall be on my own inspiration. Feel the positive vibe in me now? :))

I was bored during lunch and I walked out of the pharmacy and treated myself with a walk down kangaroo bay by myself, with my phone and earphone for songs. It felt so good to enjoy the sea breeze, unwind and decelerate after a tight, busy morning at work. Me times like this can be so precious and I should probably do more of this before it gets too cold when winter comes.

And I had this random thought today - iphone users will forever be iphone users. I doubt any iphone users would ever go back to phones with simple mobile settings. Even if its a smart phone, it will still be different.

fumbling the rambles

2011-02-23T20:56:00.004+11:00

I hate you when you're so uninspiring when it comes to exercise.

I hate you when you forget the things that I tell you - things that you should have remembered.

I hate you when you've had just as many hours of sleep as I had and yet just a short lie on the floor, and I start to hear your snore.

I've finally finished my Glee season one, 22 episodes in 5 days! I thought there was a bit too much singing towards the end - personally, it might have been hectic because I watched the episodes one after another with minimal resting in between, but nonetheless, still a pretty decent drama I thought!

And the song that impacted me the most (apart from the catchy tunes of Gaga's) is Endless Love. The tune is somewhat romantic and the duet doubles the romance :))

記得

2011-02-17T21:27:00.003+11:00

Maybe it has been too long, so long that I'm dying for a change.

Its already my fifth year in Tasmania. Fifth year living in this old house. Fifth year shopping at the same Woolworths. Everything has become so mundane. I've gotten so used to this same old environment that nothing excites me. I can't even be bothered to bring out my camera. There's nothing to snap.

I think its about time for change.

Its been 2 days since I last ran and danced around at home. I don't shake about in Tasmania. Nothing makes me happy, nothing keeps me hyper.

I guess I just need a little bit more time for this homesick feeling to sink right back into these thick bones of mine.

2011-02-16T18:59:00.001+11:00

Everything I see reminds me of mum, dad, tua yi. I miss home, I want to go home :((

Bye home

2011-02-16T16:58:00.002+11:00

Nothing beats the comforts of home. I was home for two and a half weeks, and I am now to back to where I was two and a half weeks ago.

Homesick? Yes. I'm already looking forward to the end of the year - the time where I can count down to my return back to my homeland, back to the family, back to kolomee.

Nonetheless these two weeks plus of holidays kept me recharged and hopefully, after a good night's sleep tonight, I'm ready for work tomorrow.

Bye bye holidays. Bye bye home. I miss you so.

Who's that girl just walk walk walk in the club

2011-01-26T08:55:00.005+11:00

Out of boredom, I spent my last 3 nights re-watching one of my favourite taiwanese series, eh no, I should say its my favourite taiwanese drama of the year 2010 - 就想賴著妳, starring Jerry Yan and Ella from SHE.

Its actually quite ridiculous when I think about the amount of times I've watched it, but that really is how much I love it ! I've always been a fan of taiwanese dramas - though not much favoured amongst my friends - because I find their love stories exceptionally sweet, amusing and stupid ! And its the stupidity that I actually enjoy - very chilled and relaxed when I watch them! And most of the time the main actor and actress are handsome men and pretty ladies, so why not?! ;))

I even found myself smiling to myself at work yesterday, half-way packing blister packs, half-way thinking about the story plot, how the two quarreled initially, then fell in love, then couldn't be together etc etc etc. Mundane storyline I know, but I just like watching it!

Today is Australia Day - public holiday! Never knew there is such a public holiday at this time of year, but it came with an extra stress - I now officially have one and a half day to complete my blister pack preparation for the following odd 3 weeks. And just when I thought I'm almost done with it, I get calls from doctors telling me they want pack changes - and so, poor me, I have to reopen their sealed packs, make the appropriate changes, wait for the pharmacist to check at them, and then seal them back again. Haih, so is life isn't it.

2 more sleeps at my home in Hobart, one sleep in the plane, then I'll be home sweet home ! Though the excitement of CNY and the wedding swifts through my brain, just like what adrenaline does to your heart, I do feel a bit heavy-hearted. A few of my favourite people in the world won't be going home. Baboon and Wei Wei will be staying in Hobart, Sim will be staying in Adelaide, and my princie will be in Singapore, and Sharon and Kok Fung will be in Brisbane and Perth respectively - haih, so is life. But at least I get to reunite with my gang members - which I haven't in ONE year already! Though from a big gang, we dwindled down to only 8 or 9 of us only this year. So is life, so is life.

Ahaha. I think I sound like an old lady.

I was supposed to be going to zumba as early as 7:30 am this morning, but lazy bone struck last night and I decided I want to sleep in this very holiday, but guess what, my eyes were wide open at 6:30 am! And I got straight out of bed to download shows and watch youtube :))

Hmm. I wonder if shops are open today? Maybe its a good day for shopping huh?

Tata! Hopefully the next time I write in this space, I will be home!

Biscuits

2011-01-23T20:35:00.003+11:00

Came across this on facebook and thought it was kinda cute.

Pencil: you know, I'm really sorry.

Eraser: for what?

Pencil: Sorry,cause you get hurt because of me. Whenever I make mistakes,you are always there to erase them. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. U get smaller and smaller every time.

Lesson of the day: Appreciate your friends that are there through your thicks and thins, and for them not minding to pick up you from the dirty dungeon that you fall into every time.

Apart from that, it has been yet another quiet weekend. My last weekend before I head home for Chinese New Year! Very very excited, but there's a voice deep down inside that reminded me that all these excitement will not last. They'll come and when they go, it would be time for me to get back to reality, head back to work, resume back to life.

I made some milo cookies yesterday!

They were meant to be doggies, but I only have level 1 culinary skills - the dogs were too tough to be attempted! So I had my thinking cap on and I twisted it into these little little popes!

And I even made a few echidna, and one flying dumbo. It was good fun, enjoying the afternoon by myself.

The only thing missing was..... Chinese New Year songsss! :))

When banana meets mayo

2011-01-18T21:26:00.004+11:00

My first thought of mixing banana with mayonnaise was : eww.

But actually, it smells quite good.

And no, your guess was wrong. I'm NOT that disgusting. This combo is not for my own consumption.

Its my home-made hair mask!

;))

One fine morning last week I stumbled onto someone's blog who had a video on home-made avocado hair mask. Being born with naturally dry hair, anything that promises to improve my hair attracts me by nature. I still choose to believe in shampoos that promises easy, breezy, beautiful hair after x amount of washes. And my heart itches to buy any nice looking hair serum out there in the hope of saving my hair. But the reality is, everytime that happens, I regret my purchase afterwards.

So this time, hair masks. I can't go too far off with natural hair mask. After all, I don't need to buy one whole bottle of chemical and if I ever decide that it is useless, I do not need to chuck that whole bottle away. If avocado or banana hair masks do not work, easy: Just eat them then! ;))

I gave the avocado hair mask a try last saturday. I had a look at my hair in the mirror, I don't know whether I was partly influenced by a placebo effect, or in fact that mask did work, I found my hair slightly shinier and the best part is, I did not need to use a hair dryer to blow dry my hair and yet I wasn't a lion upon waking up the next day! Although, I still find my hair a bit dry.

Then I googled more into natural hair masks and I found this supposedly extra moisturising banana hair mask for dry, damaged hair. Since I had bananas at home and they seem to ripen extremely quickly with the hot weather these couple of days, I donated one banana for play purposes. LOL. So I had one ripe banana, mashed and pureed, 2 dollops of mayonnaise with a few drops of olive oil. The original recipe suggested blending the banana but I was too lazy to get the blender out, so I mashed it with a fork.

So, the reason I'm blogging about this is because I have to leave the mask on for 15-30 minutes and here I am writing, trying to kill time. And my head and I smell of banana and mayo. Ahahaha.

By the way, I did my chest x-ray today, and when I looked down at the form, it was written that I was 22 years old. Yes, I know I'm 22, but, looking at it written on the paper makes me a that bit depressed. I'm 22, no longer 21. Haih.

Blehh

2011-01-16T19:57:00.003+11:00

There goes my weekend. Contrary to my excitement about going home, the weekend I've just had was...boring.

It feels although everyone was busy with something and I, was busy with nothing. I didn't have anything to do. I had no one to find. And suddenly, I remember what lonely feels like.

Haih, what a life.

Counting down!

2011-01-13T22:12:00.002+11:00

I can almost smell the sambal on my nasi lemak. I can also taste my favourite teh-c peng on a long-awaited sunday morning breakfast after mass.

Oh oh oh. 2 more weeks to homeeeee! ;))

My mind is just so filled with happy thoughts about home and home and Chinese New Year and Chinese New Year and cousin's wedding, cousin's wedding, cousin's wedding. I'm a bit stressed at the moment because I'm feeling so anxious for her and exhilarated and absolutely hyped! Through these times I realise that I'm a person who likes to be in control of things. When things slip out of my hands, I feel very anxious and I cannot sit still. I'm supposed to be the maid of honour (I think that's what you call) of hers but being physically apart have made things a bit hard! I definitely look forward to going home and helping her prepare - after all, she is my ever-annoying cousin who has probably been the longest friend of mine and the one I grew up with and the one I didn't expect to marry that soon! But nonetheless, *rubs hands* I am so excited about it!

And the other reason that got me a bit stressed up is Chinese New Year. Arriving home on the 29th of Jan, I've got a long to-do list to be accomplished within the 5 days before Chinese New Year. Hawker food hunt, clothes shopping, hair cut, dental check-up, cookie baking, hanging out with gang - ahhhhhhhhhhh I just can't wait!

And to add up to the good times, I'll be on paid leave for the whole period I'm away - meaning I won't be working but will have money loaded into my pocket! Ahhhhh, marvellous!

Meanwhile at work - the Christmas and New Year rush is all over now. Pharmacy gets quiet sometimes, on and off, especially during the late afternoons. Good for me because I can catch up on my webster packing which needs to be 100% done before I leave for home, and also plenty of time to look closely at the products on shelf and better understand them. Everything under my wings are now back on track!

I'm partially glad that my cousin is getting married because I get a good reason to go home! My initial plan was to stay here in Tassie over CNY because excuse for self - I have to work. But really, it makes a difference to be able to go home. There is a reason to wake up to a better tomorrow ;)) Not rubbing salts into wounds of those not going home, but home really, is still home.

Tersangat best.

:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

:S

2011-01-08T21:02:00.004+11:00

I.AM.SO.VERY.BORED.

Perhaps I should better occupy my time and sort out my new visa application, but at this point in time, my body and mind tells me to not care about it.

Or perhaps I should do some yoga - because its already the 8th of January (OMG Really?!) and I haven't had a proper exercise done yet. Yet to rejoin the gym. Yet to run down Sandy Bay Road on a hot day. Yet to attend zumba and body combat.

Or perhaps I should read up my previous therapeutic notes and remind myself about the drugs I see at work everyday. Or maybe not. The last thing I want to do on a weekend is anything related to work. But my conscience screams to remind me that I cannot go far if I don't recall my memory of things I've learnt in uni. That is not doing justice to patients, nor to my hard-earned certificate. But, really, do I have to study on a weekend? No, not really right?!

I was just reading a book that I have recently bought on boxing day, titled "Dying for a cure", authored by a lady who was misdiagnosed with postnatal depression leading to her taking mountains of anti-depressants which was supposedly going to be the perfect "cure" to her "depression", which in fact her diagnosis was wrong at the first place. It was pretty cool that the biography even quoted statistics from studies!

But anyway, reading this book reminds me that in the midst of my regular dispensing of Sertra, Efexor and Zoloft, I mustn't shatter my barrier against psychiatric medications. They are too regularly prescribed nowadays and it is my personal opinion that this should not happen. We are yet to know whether these drugs will do any serious harm in the long term, and we also do not know whether these drugs really do benefit.

And yes, it took me a good 1/2 hour to write this post - its past 9 already - meaning in Maria's world, I am officially entitled to sleep legally.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeee ;))

Resolutions

2011-01-05T22:47:00.002+11:00

Skype video-calling on iPhone is aweeeeeeesome! Because I don't have a laptop with an in-built camera, I've always had to feed on people's "higher-tech" laptops to skype with mum and dad. But now, with my new little toy, I can skype so easily - its really convenient!

Okay, back to what got me back to blogging.

New Year resolutions. I need to get some new year resolutions so that I can start off my new year afresh, with aimed targets to achieve the best of the year.

Amongst which I have decided to allocate the very first one to this: to become an Australian Registered Pharmacist by the end of the year. I must transfer my passion for hospital pharmacy to the field I am in now, and make the most of it. I can make a difference if I myself am willing to make the move. I can, I can!

And the second resolution which I figured out yesterday: I must visit Adelaide - hopefully! Since it was so much fun having my two monkeys - which are my new-found children in Tassie. We did so much travelling and I myself experienced a few new things - like adding osyters into Shin Ramen and frying the oysters with egg right by the bay, visiting the lavender farm. It was good fun and this episode is to be continued in Adelaide ;))

Third resolution: Weight loss / maintenance. I don't wish that I shed off 100% of the amount of fat that I own now - I just have my fingers crossed that I do not put on anymore excessive weight because I already have more than enough of it!

Ok, till I come out with more new year resolutions. Tata!

Christmas is over

2010-12-29T22:03:00.002+11:00

So okay.

The four days of Christmas break is gone. Eric is gone. Two more days at work and then 3 more days of holidays.

One more day to the arrival of my kuching monkeys and two more days to counting down to the new year of 2011.

Twenty eleven. Twenty eleven. Twenty eleven. Twenty eleven. Twenty eleven. Twenty eleven.

Twenty ten went past quick enough didn't it. A while ago I was still at home, doing my volunteer placements at our local hospital, a while ago I came back to Tassie as a fourth year student, and a while later, I'm already working my butt off and facing the real people, real world.

I have yet to have the time to properly settle down and think about my new year resolutions. Not that I follow my resolutions at all - oh wait. I don't think I even set them. Heee. But I just felt like sitting down and thinking through the year. Now that I have a much bigger room, and I get to organise things my way, I tend to enjoy my own quiet moments in the room. Things that I haven't done for ages - opening the window blinds first thing upon waking up, playing songs whilst I do my own chores like folding the washing and ironing my uniform.

Christmas was quiet, but thank God for friends like them! I wasn't lonely, and it was good fun sticking with you for 4 days in a row Wei Wei!

Right

2010-12-22T22:31:00.003+11:00

In the mere 10 days, I

# turned 22 - celebrated my birthday with 3 family with a barbeque on set. Rare scenery

# said hello and bye to my VIP visitors - the house had a 360 transformation - the number of residents dwindled from an original 17++ person to 6. And I, returned back to square one, all alone without any single family members.

# graduated. The walk on stage was a mere 15 seconds - nothing in comparison to the four tough years we had to survive through.

#4 owned a car. And guess what the car plate number is. Freaking number 12! I promise you all this happened by sheer coincidence. My dad just picked the car with the lowest mileage - and it just happened to be this car on display - and it just happened to be lucky car number 12. :)

#5 owned 6 domo-kuns!!! how did that happen too?!

Anyway, their departure. I was alright this morning - it wasnt such a bad good bye because I had to rush to work - but when I got home to a lonely room - a whole big empty room all to myself - I couldn't hold back the tears. I just had to cry to feel better. And I did feel a wee bit better afterwards. Especially after reminding myself that I will be home in a month plus' time.

It was just such a bliss to be under the care of my parents. I didnt have to worry about laundry, meals, finance - basically nothing. No worries under the roof. But I guess I just cannot hide away from the fact that I now am grown-up - I've earned myself a degree and have started earning myself an income.

Oh wells. I guess its time to head off to bed and sleep all the sorrow away because I know I will be fine tomorrow. That's just me :)

No rain

2010-12-07T10:50:00.002+11:00

Hopefully the more I chant, the more likely the weather will listen to me.

It cannot rain on next monday. It mustn't rain on next wednesday.

Late start today. Woke up and reorganised the room to welcome my VIPs this coming weekend. So excited for the end of the week to come because that's when I get my pay, that's when I get to see my family, that's when my birthday comes!

I'd trade for a beautiful weather on both monday and wednesday with a rainy birthday. Just as long as there's sun, clear blue sky on those two days. Please please, those are important days, you MUST NOT rain oh my dear sky!

That's it I have today to rant about.

Remember. It cannot rain on next monday. It mustn't rain on next wednesday.

Happy birthday Little Brother

2010-12-05T22:15:00.005+11:00

I started the month of December, thinking and believing that it would be a good month.

Come on, December means Christmas, my birthday, Bernard's turning 18, family coming, host parents coming, graduation, and my monkeys are coming to count down to the new year with me. I got the christmas tree up before its even December. I got myself fully organised at work on the 1st day of December.

But hey, deep down inside, there's this shriek of loneliness calling me. This feeling of nostalgia drives me....empty.

I have tried to be a little bit more tolerant with him. I'd let him tease me a little bit longer because less than a month from now, there won't be him to annoy me. I try to cook him breakfast without him asking because a couple more weeks from now, I won't be able to make him breakfast.

Come to think of it, it was just the beginning of the year that we both were at starbucks at the airport waiting to enter the departure terminal. It was only a while ago when we ran for our lives to the departing airplane and in the end Bernard had misplaced his wallet with the customs. It felt like a while ago when he was a newbie in town and I had to lead him to the bus stop to catch a bus to college. It was really a short while back when we had our eat-all-we-want feast with the plum trees at Ting Wei's house.

And all of a sudden, its December already, and in just matter of days, I won't have my little brother with me in Hobart. Despite how much he annoyed me initially, swapping tables and positioning things his way, I think I will miss him badly when he leaves. Even the thoughts of it tears me up. Its good that I'll have one less person to worry about, but its bad that I'm loosing such big company in the room.

I'm very glad that he was sent to me to guide him for a year before he heads on to his own journey next year. From not knowing how to pack and fold clothes, not knowing how to cook, to what he is now - fried rice, celery with egg, to his latest creation, minced beef noodle soup. I was really really impressed with his soup - it was so tasty that I even crave for it now! And I hope he has learned enough to lead him in life - how to deal and live with other people, how to appreciate that money doesn't grow on trees, and how to appreciate what Mum and Dad have given to us.

He has taught me a lot indirectly in the whole year too. I shouldn't forget to throw my face pads into the bin and not just leave it accumulating on the table. Books can be left tidy in a corner near the tables if the table surface is not big enough to work with. You should get sick with instant noodles easily so that you will find a healthier, alternative option to eat.

So my little brother, a late Happy Birthday post, I hope you will survive well next year alone, and you must always remember, if you ever need anything, che will be here for you. Except when you want to use my money.

HA! Just kidding ;))

Made it, made it

2010-11-27T08:09:00.003+11:00

And so, this is it. THIS IS IT.

It is official that I will be graduating on the 15th of December, with Bachelor of Pharmacy (Honours)! And tumpang, may I also proudly announce the official graduation of Aaron Poh with Bachelor of Engineering (Honours) on the 13th of December!

Its all happening now! Thank God for results! And thank God for the mercy you have shown on each of us, and thank you for making the dream of a complete Wonder 5 graduation come true! ;))

I can see that I'm quite excited by the amount of exclamation marks that I'm using.

So neway, worked 38 hours this week. Have been swapped from casual to permanent staff, and my salary has dropped from an already poor pay of 18/hour to 15/hour. I just don't understand why do we get such little pay as an intern. Come on, I got better pay when I worked in the vegetable factory. But if you'd ask me if I'd swap this for that, no no, I'd rather not.

Although I must say, the biggest con of a pharmacist is that we have to stand the bloody whole day. The pharmacist working with me talked about his problems with varicose veins, a result of prolonged standing as he's basically stood his whole life as a community pharmacist. I don't want to get that in 20 years time! Ahhhhh.

For record purposes, my progression at work:

#1 Officially an independent webster packer. I now know how to start new patients on pack, enter details into the system, prepare packs for existing patients, and I'm going to revamp their documentation system because the tables and everything are in a mess and it annoys me, A LOT, A LOT!

#2 Counselled a patient on the use of spacer for her asthma.

#3 Remembered that fenofibrate needs avoid sunlight sticker, and isosorbide mononitrate needs label 16.

#4 Spoke on the phone with Medicare. And this time they didn't mishear whatever I say - success it is! :)) What occurred the first week was I had to spell out a patient's birthdate to get his details, and I said 23 (twenty-three), and she misheard it as 33, and she said, there's no 33 days in a month! =_______=

#5 Introduced the script collecting system that I have learnt from the community pharmacy experience in Bairnsdale to my current work place. I'm taking over the role of sending scripts to Medicare, so I gotta do things the way I want them to work! Heeeeee

If fate brings me to become a community pharmacist, I must still aspire to be a successful pharmacist.

So looking forward to 15th of December, where I get a day off work!

Just a dream

2010-11-23T07:15:00.003+11:00

I don't know am I waking up before 7. Its annoying because I want to sleep until the alarm gets me out of bed. But why why why am I waking up before 7?

The traffic in Hobart is a little bit unpredictable. On my first day of work, I left home at 8:20 am, and I got to work at 8:55 am. Sweet, just on time, not too early, not too late. And then on my 2nd day of work, I left 5 minutes earlier, hoping to avoid the traffic, and I got there at freaking 8:40 am. And I had to park and rest and Kangaroo Bay before going to work. LOL. And I have been waste 15 minutes of my days parking by the bay for the last few days. I wanna gamble and only leave home at 8:30, but what if I cannot make it on time? If only I could walk.

Working makes me appreciate my weekends a little bit more. I got a lot done - household chores, shopping, spending quality time with people and even squeezed the time to attend zumba (alone :(( ) and make mango pudding. Just that my pudding was not bouncy at all because I added too many tablespoons of gelatin. Hahaha. Nevermind, always can try another time.

Its going to be 28 degrees today. Freaking hot! Its not like I get to sunbake anyway ;))

Work

2010-11-20T01:19:00.002+11:00

Here comes the weekend :)))))

I was initially very excited about the weekend, but because I got an email from my supervisor saying that I need to hand in the full, hard-cover thesis by Monday the 29th, I could do nothing but sigh...because it means I've got homework to do after work for the whole of next week.

Sigh sigh. Double sigh.

Apart from that, I've got stories to tell about work!

#1 My poor left thumb bled from pushing tablets off their blister packages. I told the current intern about the incident, and his immediate reaction was, "did you get blood on the medicines?" Haihh, I thought he would take over my job.

#2 I counselled a patient about vitamin D tablets all by myself today! She had osteoporosis and wanted some vitamin D tablets, but she wasn't sure whether the tablets would interfere with her current osteoporosis therapy. I counselled her and wheeeeeeeeee don't I feel good? ;P

#3 I spot a mistake on a Dr's prescription today. It was for a salbutamol inhaler, and the directions was to use 2 puffs four times a day on the "right side". What on earth is the right side doing there? Like erm hello so you're supposed to only puff into the right side of your throat so that it goes into the right side of your oesophagus and work only on the right side of your lungs? Hahahaha. Work can be fun at times too!

Anddddddd I got my pay ;))

Its only 1:30 am and I refuse to sleep. I musn't sleep my weekend away because before I notice it, it'll be Monday and work starts all over again.

1st day

2010-11-18T07:58:00.002+11:00

15 minutes before I'm out of the house, so I have to rush through this before I forget.

So, how was 1st day at work?

Well, to be honest, not as bad as I thought it would be! Time swam passed me like a duck (although do note that time did not rocket pass ;) ) and before I realise, its 6pm already. And before I realise its bedtime and I wake up again the next day, which is today, rushing to drink my water, iron my clothes, pack my lunch, shower, eat breakfast, all before I head off to work.

My heels actually hurt after standing for the whole day on those flats, but I guess its just complaining before it hadn't really recovered from the walking in Sydney. My fingers hurt as well from opening the blister packages to pack webster packs. I prepared 2.5 webster packs yesterday!

Oh, and I made a real runny, oily cream too! It was 50% white soft paraffin (which is vaseline /petroleum jelly) in liquid paraffin. It was as oily as it sounds, but I had fun mixing everything on the slab, because I knew that was easy and that that would take up a lot of time :P

I'm going to learn how to use the tills today, so hopefully, more things in my pocket!

My girls went White water rafting yesterday and are going Zorbing today. Have fun while I dream about you guys in envy :P

Sydney

2010-11-16T21:40:00.001+11:00

All I need now is one flight that could take me home, and return me my 3 months long summer break. I'm all emo because tomorrow will be my first day of work and I still haven't picked up the composure to finish reading traffic law and I don't want to be asked more about driving at work :S

Anyway.

Back from Sydney. Burnt myself with the 27-28 deg weather. But awesome food, beautiful blue sea and sun, fun shopping and best of all, great great company. Although I wasn't able to head off with them on their journey to NZ, I am still grateful for friends that were willing to spent a couple of extra more days in Sydney just so that will have complete Wonder 5 graduation trip with me.

I've had so so so much to eat in the past 5 days. From breakfasts, to desserts, to main meals, to ice-creams. Oh ice-creams. OMG I had two of my favourite ice-creams in Sydney. One of it is the peanut butter and chocolate ice-cream from I-forgot- where, and the second one is the durian ice-cream from passionflower. The durian ice-cream was really really to die for. It was soooo creamy, packed with rich durian flavours and ahhhhhh I'd die to have another scoop of it!

My favourite icon in Sydney? Ohhhh harbour bridge. The opera house was so-so because the colours were I think a bit dull, but the view of harbour bridge upon sunset - WHOOOOOSHHH they go way beyond my amazement. I couldn't stop taking pictures of it with Mia.

Ohhh and the pork ribs from Hurricane? Oh no no no don't get me craving for them! They were so succulent, the marinade was rich, and it was easy to eat and I couldn't stop licking on the ribs! If you know me, I dislike messing with bones, like I avoid chicken wings to my very best, but the ribs, the ribs, sooooooooo yum!

Isabella won Junior Masterchef! Glad that she won, but I do also share the pride the Jack, a Tasmanian came second in the race! And Little Siena, my favourite, she was gladly in Top Four.

I was going to upload photos of Sydney, but I guess I'll leave it to some other time. Had a long-due clean-up of the kitchen and now I think its time to mentally prepare for what is to come tomorrow.

Periodic whining

2010-11-09T22:40:00.002+11:00

So what has life been after the exams?

Well to be honest, I didn't feel as free like I did in the previous three years. And the big difference is I don't get to go home before the year ends :((

I had a catch-up session over coffee with a "long-lost" friend today, and he was like, I'll count you as an adult now, now that you're working so soon! =____=

I was previously really anticipating for my Sydney trip with Wonder 5 but now I'm a bit reluctant to leave home. I want to shop till I drop, eat till my stomach bursts because the day after I come back from Sydney, everything will keep rolling and I, painfully have to start work. Despite how good it feels to have to *chng chng* coming into the pockets, I just cannot imagine myself working the 9-6 routine.

I have yet to face my worst fear. DRIVING. Somebody save me! Somebody somewhere please grant me brains that can drive! :S

Saw VII was disappointing. I didn't have to shout so it was just alright. Neither too disgusting, nor too amusing. And the 3D glasses were sooooooooooooooo freaking annoying! My head was too small for the glasses and because I had to wear my normal spectacles on top of the 3D glasses, the 3D glasses kept falling out of place! In the end I ended up force tissue paper balls in between the legs of both glasses. I must have looked like a stupid idiot.

Anyway, I do notice I'm spreading a little bit of negative vibe out to the world so I guess its time to stop.

Again, practice sulking it in. I'll be just fine.

Haih, adult = no fun. I should really do a second degree. I'd do exams to swap for 3 months holiday :))

Best things in life, they are free.

2010-11-05T17:17:00.004+11:00

Heard of the song "Cry on my shoulders?"

My favourite phrase of all its lyrics - The best things in life, they are free.

Although I have an exam tomorrow, I'm dying to write a short post because I got a SMS from a very dear friend who said the below, that totally rocked my day.

"Really inspired seeing your chase after your dreams!"

I find it very inspiring in return too, and note to self, I really really shouldn't compromise and give up on my dreams until I find closed doors, sealed windows and plastered walls.

Like Aaron's commitment to construction /automobile engineering, I vow to stay true to my dreams of being a clinical pharmacist!

And I will run the race, till I see your face

2010-11-03T11:13:00.002+11:00

For my two brothers who are also feeling the pressure of exams,

Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all His things shall be given unto you, Allelu-alleluia.

Do not worry over what to eat, what to wear or put upon your feet. Trust and pray, go do your best today, then leave it in the hands of the Lord, leave it in the hands of the Lord.

Work hard and you'll get what you deserve in return. Che che supports you two!

And for myself, 3 more days, 3 more days!

:))

Mirror image

2010-10-31T22:45:00.002+11:00

I now own the most annoying keypad ever and you can imagine the level of annoying-ness by the fact that I am even kept away from facebook and blogging! I can't even type a webpage address properly without getting the random i s.

So anyway, I had my exam on Friday, and then since then, 48 hours later, I still can't seem to be bothered to get myself back to study. I have another exam coming up on saturday. Come on, its only saturday right :P Worst still, I didn't even feel an ounce of guilty-ness when I actually wasted my morning away watching 2 episodes of America's next top model, and one episode of Ramsay's best kitchen in the afternoon, followed by a little nap and chilax-ing in bed listening to songs. At least I still went to aerobics today with my girls! It was so freaking tiring. Maybe I have grown a little fatter after eating our very own "fine dining" for Jiena's birthday celebration.

Somehow, my heart has a soft spot for little sunday afternoon naps. Out of all days, it is only napping on sundays that I feel a little extra cosy. I guess its because it reminds me of home, where daddy would have his routine nap after lunch, where then my brother, and sometimes my mum would join. Back in secondary school years, I was so crazy about studying for SPM that I thought sunday afternoon naps were a waste of time. It was only when I went home for summer that I got to relax on a sunday afternoon, lie in bed and fall asleep in an air-conditioned room, and then wake up to authentic kuching/ home-only afternoon tea. Belacan bee-hoon, ice kacang, cold ribena, peanut butter on crackers.

Crickey, I miss my little moments at home!

Graduation is getting closer and closer and I...I...I... don't wan't to start working. No matter how much I'd like to count the money I earn for each day of work, nothing can replace the privilege of going home for 3 whole months, doing nothing academic, because screw it, I'm home.

My very, very, VERY poor driving skills are driving me mad too! I got a headache after driving for 10 minutes. I could probably argue that the road was hard to drive: there was a huge slope, the road was particularly narrow and there were too many cars parked on both sides of the road, but I guess, above all, the problem lies in me. I just have zero talent in driving.

These, the part and parcels of life where I can do nothing but sulk it all in :((

A little anxious

2010-10-28T20:48:00.003+11:00

I have an anxious soul right now because I will have my second last exam for my life as a pharmacy undergraduate tomorrow morning! I can't seem to sit still. I can't wait to get it over and done with, but I'm terrified that they will be bizarre clinical situations or antibiotic-related questions because I can never get my head around antibiotic doses.

Hmm :S

I feel as though I've covered everything that I could potentially cover, but my gut feeling tells me to not be over-confident again because look what happened to my last hospital case assignment. I failed. Ya. It was a huge shock at the beginning, I couldn't believe how badly I performed, but thoughts sunk in later on and I realised I was too confident with the assessment and was not well-prepared for the assessment. T'was a good wake up call.

Alright, I should do some more last minute reading, call it a day, and be prepared for what is to come tomorrow! Fingers crossed, have mercy on me, O Lord! :))

Sisters

2010-10-27T07:33:00.003+11:00

I always go around telling people I'm glad I never had a sister because there's no other half that would steal my clothes, wear my shoes, compare sizes; which I still feel so now, though I'm glad that I do have replacement sisters in my life.

My dad did smart planning. He bought the house right next to grandma's, which allowed me to grow up with my cousin sisters. We used to play badminton in the middle of the road, run when there's a car coming our way; we used to walk to our neighbour's driveway to pick 5 beautiful stones to play games; we used to use plastic bands to make into long strands of bands to play ..... (I have no idea of the name of the game); and now that we're a little more grown up, we go shopping together, go eat ice-kacang, belacan bee-hoon, go have breakfast, and my favourite of all, baking together :))

I was alright alone in New Zealand, because after all I came from an all boys family except for Mum. It wasn't too hard to cope without sisters, though I had Roselyn, both a friend and a sister. And then I came to Tassie to start my degree. I was a naive, daring eighteen year old girl, coming to live in almost the end of the globe, alone. I came and met a special someone, someone more than just a housemate - she was a companion, a buddy, a listener, and of it all, a sister.

Maybe it was a natural instinct that being elder than me, she would have to take care of me. I was happily hiding under her wings all these time, without realising how fortunate and blessed I was. I learnt a lot from her, mostly things about life. Until when things changed, then I realise, I got used to her being there for me, that I forgot that I have to be there for her too. I took her for granted, her cooking especially because its only now that I realised, I've eaten assam laksa for n number of times in Tassie already, and I still do not know the exact recipe of this. I still cant handle this dish on my own!

She said I must grow up. Urgh :S Must I?

Being taken care of is the best feeling in the world! :)) Yesterday, I had my breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and even dessert sorted out without me asking. Although I had to do the dishes for breakfast because Aaaron had exams, I had my lunch send right to my door step, and I got a peeled orange sent right to my table for afternoon tea. What a blessing!

This serves as a reminder of how blessed I am and I thank God for answering my prayers to a problem that I thought did not have any solutions. Alleluia! :))

Good morning btw, time for study again! >.<

Hush

2010-10-21T09:38:00.003+11:00

I must learn to accept that things have changed. I don't have a reset button to change things back to how they were.

For better or for worse, I thank God for two persons that listen.

Time to move on. Exams exams.

Remember, learn to accept that things have changed.

Ohh, on a lighter note, I created a joker name for myself just to annoy someone. June /Anna Sui Wong is down to hunt youuuuuuuu! :D

Have a great day ahead everyone.

Pau

2010-10-18T23:07:00.005+11:00

Today is cha sio pau day! Finally, finally after 1000 nights craving for cha sio pau, we finally got our feet together and made it. And for first time pau makers, I think we did pretty good! :D

I was so bad with pau pleating, they didn't even look like paus. I tend to be a little handicapped with technical things. I was never able to make beautiful "S" when we used to make what we call as "Kuih-S" or S-cookie for CNY. The other girls managed to come up with more decent looking paus so compensate for my ugly looking ones.

I think it has something to do with my left handed-ness. Wei wei is just pure weird for being able to handle little fragile creations. But nonetheless, I'm still blessed with powerful fingers that can allows me to measure tablespoon /teaspoonful of soy sauce /oyster sauce by hand - my cha sio filling was awesome!

I'm personally quite angry at the moment, for reasons that I myself cannot comprehend. I have so much going through my brain that I think any moment from now, it will explode. So many many things left undone. I need a guardian angel to do all these for me!

You know what will make me happy? Watermelon boat! I have an undying passion for watermelon, and imagine my expression when I saw this on the table, made for none other than me. I wish I now have the tools to dig water melon balls too because I have a gigantic watermelon waiting for me to operate on and I wish I can make them into bit size happy balls.

Please, I need a miracle to have a good friday. God, please. answer my prayers.

Journey

2010-10-15T12:04:00.002+11:00

You know what makes time precious? The fact that you can't rewind time no matter how much you'd want to.

If we could all travel back to our favourite times in the past, what is the purpose of future then? If Obama continued to live in the day he won the position as the President of US, we wouldn't know how much changes he is capable of bringing to the stats right.

I wanted time to stop when I submitted my thesis. I wanted time to stop when I finished my semester exams. I wanted time to stop when I was happily eating kolomee and pau in Kuching last summer.

I now want time to stop because out of a sudden, graduation is becoming really really scary!

Everything is scary. Being an adult and earning my own living. Losing the entitlement for a self-declared day off when I can;t be bothered to do anything. Buying a car and driving to work. No more summer holidays. AHHHHH. Everything is just too scary!

For a moment I really feel like backing off and just take another degree and restart the whole sem one - study - exams - holiday - sem two - study - exams - MSIA cycle of life.

But again, because time wouldn't compromise, I cannot not age. I'm coming to an end to my 4 year journey as a pharmacy student. Yes, I know, two more papers to sit, but I'm a ball of mixed anticipation and fear because I am only two months away from graduation!

Behind those glamarous square hat, big black gown and high heels, I've got to settle lots of things first - applying a new visa, doing police clearance, applying for provisional registration as an intern, finding a new, affordable house to rent, dragging myself to sit for the traffic law exams and getting an Australian driving license.

AHHHH! And I want to make pau so badly :S

Vienna coffee

2010-10-13T21:32:00.004+11:00

Blogger’s playing truant on me and not allowing me to enter the webpage when I could still open up other people’s blog. I refreshed my page 10000000 times and got fed up and sue it, I’ll just write it in Word.

Anyway, what was I going to talk about? Oh ya, nostalgia.

We had our “mini” farewell lunch in university today, officially the “last” lecture I’ll ever have in my life as a pharmacy student. I called it a mini lunch because they weren’t even enough pizzas to feed us! When one of the lecturers gave a farewell speech to us, I just felt like awwwww-ing the whole time because time really flies. I was once this young, naïve student who knows close to nothing about the profession of pharmacy and all I cared about was laughing at other people’s seemingly dead rat ileus muscles (:D) and finishing exams so that I can head home for the 3 months of summer holidays.

And now look how much I’ve achieved through these four years. I’ve set my dreams for hospital pharmacy and/ or consultant pharmacy, went through 7 semester exams studying like a mad cow during study week, struggled and completed my thesis, (probably would still laugh at dead rat ileus) and now, 2 more papers to sit for and that’s it, that is it. Two subjects seemed a bit hard to handle because there isn’t really that much to cover compared to handling 5-6 subjects for the previous 5 semesters. I can’t swap subjects when I’m bored studying one subject because I only have two choices. When I get sick of both, I facebook, and I feel guilty, and I head back to study, and I get bored once again =____=

I’ve been sleeping really late, like past midnight for the past few weeks since I’ve submitted my thesis. I was having drama marathon of my own, and life was great. It was about cooking, exercise, watching dramas and sleep. The problem is now that I try to tame myself to study, I feel like heading to bed when its 9pm. My stupid brain just refuses to work after 9pm. Sheesh. The problem is I only started study probably ½ hour ago. Ish.

Anyway, today is our anniversary supposedly. 6 years. SIX years. How did I even get involved in a relationship for 6 years?! We had ice-cream to celebrate, though the standard of ice-cream from Mures has dropped - the Vienna coffee ice-cream felt like a ball of blended smooth ice made with a cup of coffee drink. Not creamy enough for my liking.

Alright then, I should do something else. Maybe I should watch America's next top model on the internet because surprise surprise, we still have leftover quotas of internet this month!

BTW I've been craving for a cup of yum coffee. Who wants to make for me?

Tulipa

2010-10-10T21:42:00.008+11:00

I really did not expect myself to get sunburnt in spring! We went on a road trip to Wynyard, 5 hours plus plus away from Hobart to my long awaited tulip farm visit. The long stretches of colourful tulips were more than awesome.

Sneak peak of the tulips before I get to time to really go through the pictures. My few favourite shots. Heee

What. A nightmare.

2010-10-07T08:18:00.002+11:00

I woke up when I was just about to burst into tears on the kitchen table. Everything felt so surreal.

I, had a nightmare about my honours presentation tomorrow. Everything just somehow went wrong the whole day. I "forgot" to submit compatible version of my slides to my supervisor before the actual presentation, didnt have enough time to rehearse my slides, and when I was called to present, the slides that I had inside my pen drive REFUSED to work.

Double the misery, I was the first to present.

So, with no slides, and the crowding shooing me because of my late start, I had to shout through my lungs and pretend to be enthusiastic when in fact I wished I could just runaway from that presentation. People got bored listening to me, and even started scolding me for being so boring but I had to persevere and fight till the end of my presentation.

The original intended length of presentation was pretty long, I ended up having to cut through big portions of it. I looked for my supervisors in the sea of angry, glaring eyes for help, but all I saw was "shuddup and end it quick" from the rest of the crowd. Phyllis wasn't even there too!

So I got home, devastated and when I was about to bury my heads into my arms to cry, I woke up.

Phew, thank goodness it was only a nightmare. Only a nightmare. I guess this is all coming from my fears - I'm worried because I'm the first to present tomorrow, I have too many slides at the moment and mum was pestering me to reduce last night, I worry that my supervisors won't help me...

Blerhhh...Another new day, and I better make sure I prepare my slides well and rehearse rehearse rehease.

Mould free

2010-10-02T18:16:00.002+10:00

Guess. What is my favourite smell on earth?

I'm just so glad that the ceiling is now close to mould-free. Got a wake-up call from Joyce after she said that she saw on the news someone died of over-inhalation of mould spores. I decided that it was probably about time to do something to the mould infestation and pheww, its all spic and span now.

My backbone's half broken.

I don't know why I'm blogging because I haven't got much to say. But I've got picturessss! :D

Will be back with pictures.

So whats my favourite smell?

Lovely lace :D

Honours

2010-09-28T08:08:00.004+10:00

This honours experience has been a real whirlwind of my lifetime.

I guess now that I have submitted the electronic copy safely, and will be printing soft bound copies today, I can safely ramble about this honours experience. I felt like writing this for a while already, but I thought might as well I collect all the experiences and summarise it all into one blog entry.

Have I learnt heaps?

Yes, no doubt. Ive experienced how to start from scratch, from doing lit reviews, to planning the research, to collecting the samples, to digesting the samples, to analysing the results, to stringing them into a smooth flowing discussion and finally, to come up with a conclusion and an abstract. This itself is a life-time experience. Not until you're really involved in something, you wouldn't know that all good things come with a price to pay. You reap what you sow, you put the required effort, you enjoy the achievement at the end.

I've learnt how important it is to have good supervisors. Good supervisors, i think are close to extinction. My friends were talking about some supervisors even going for holidays when their thesis are about to be due. So far I think Aaron has the best supervisor. He's young, pretty good looking (I don't think this counts for him, LOL), and the best thing is he is enthusiastic and he is willing to help. He replies email a little bit later than immediately, compared to mine that chooses to reply to questions that he wants (I think its questions that he knows the answers to), or the worst case scenario, he might just read and totally ignore your email.

I really thank God for the existence of one PhD person who really really helped me a lot. When I was doing my lab research, he offered to help me review my write-up if I had problems. I just brushed off the thoughts, because my first impression of him wasn't too good. He used to one of the guest lecturers that came in to our presentation and with his head tilted to one side, fire us with questions that we didn't even understand. But really, when I had no choice but to see if he was willing to help me review my write-up, he was kind enough to even sit down with me for 2 hours going through every single thing. He had given me invaluable suggestions on how to improve the layout of my thesis, how to discuss the limitations better, and he even replied my email on a sunday morning! I used to "resent" (maybe not that serious) at the fact that he is from Kuching, but I now take full pride that he is a pure Malaysian product! Kuchingnites are awesome as always! :D

And I really thank God for the awesome people around me. This is a piece of acknowledgement for all of you.

To Mum and Dad, thank you so much for being there. Thank you for the constant encouragement, for reminding me to push, and for worrying about my progression all the time. And Dad, I remember we had a discussion about how with the 2 years worth of hard work, we are only paid by less than 30 seconds of fame walking down that hall. But you said even the 30 seconds is something, and I am glad that I made it till the end - exhausted, mentally strained, but I have achieved.

To Aaron and Bernard, again, thanks so much for being there. Thank you baboon for trying to make me happy at times of stress, thank you for helping me with the dishes even when you know I was just taking my thesis as an excuse to avoid those chores, thank you going to uni with me at night when the internet was crawling at snail's speed the previous two weeks. And thank you my "boon chai" (Our home way of calling Bernard), for putting up with a stressed sister for more than 1 month. Thank you for knowing when to shut up, and thank you for willingly putting on your earphones or turning down the volume of your songs. And thank you for playing the guitar outside the house when I was trying to concentrate with my articles.

Thank you my princie, Miss Ma, for your constant petrol adding! All the encouragements meant a lot to me, heart felt gratitude my dear. And thank you to rest of the Kuching crew too! Melanie and Sim especially, told you, Kuching people are so awesome! :D

Thank you Carmen and Ting Wei. Thanks Carmen for making the power food for me. If you haven't seen it, its actually 9-level-kuih (kao deng kuih), the colourful, multi-layered kuih that you can buy from market. She made it into a face like Sprite's icon, with the blushes on the side in the shape of a heart. And Ting Wei, I still remember the time when you treated me with a meal at Dumpling World. You said to not give up just because my supervisor wasn't cooperating, and that this achievement will be mine, live-long. And because of this, I continued on with the battle.

A big warm fuzzy thank you hug to my one and one best honours buddy, Miss Wei Wei. Without you, I wouldn't have made it through either. Don't feel bad for influencing me to choose this study in the beginning of the year, because going through this with you, I wasn't once lonely, I wasn't once helpless, and really, thank you for being such a big part of my journey. Thanks for answering my random questions at twitter, and thanks for bringing me back to twitter too, our very reliable source of communication!

And last but not least, thank you to my God. I'm not a very strong practicing Christian, but knowing that with You, I can always shout a prayer for strength and You will be there to listen. You made miracles when You gave me the inspirations to discuss my thesis better. You chose let the second good news of the day sneak in later on at night, only after the thesis was submitted. Thank you for the plans, because that made my day a lot a lot a lot better.

This entry serves to remind myself that I am capable of achieving my dreams too, and also for those contemplating whether or not to do honours in the years to come, an advice deep from my heart - do it. It doesn't matter how tough the journey is while you're doing it, once you're done with it, its a life-time achievement. It really is a learning process that you won't want to miss. And of course, try to find one honours buddy as awesome as mine because doing it alone can be really tough! Aaron did his alone - his was a battle more tough than mine because he was short of time - he had to juggle between exams and his project and he had so many sleepless nights at the university trying to get his program running. I'm glad he didn't give up at the end.

Alrighty then, what a long-winded post, I've said what I wanted to say for a long time already.

A pat on my own shoulder. Well done Maria :))

Headache.

2010-09-24T23:13:00.002+10:00

Sorry but this is going to be another emo post.

I hate being home alone. I've never been used to being home alone because grandma's house was just next door and whenever I needed company, someone was there. I never like staying in a house too quiet, too dark, too lonely for me to realise that I'm the one alone.

I hate doing last minute work. I've never been a last minute person, I'm paranoid about time and have always tried to complete things before the due date. Thats because in contrast to everybody else, I never perform under the pressure of time. Trying to write and tidy this thesis of mine with 2 days left to the due date, you can imaging whats running through my mind all the time. This immense pressure I'm feeling have been driving my bad mood these days. I find it so hard to smile. Its even harder to fake a smile.

I was going to write I hate the bastard who stole my tulips. But case closed. Carmen took it in because she was worried that someone would steal it as it was blooming so beautifully. So she was the tulip thief. I was close to breaking her nose, Mel was going to korek her eyes. LOL.

And I have this super massive giant huge headache. Somebody help me.

而你我找不到

2010-09-22T23:21:00.002+10:00

Happy mooncake /mid-autumn /lantern festival everyone!

For some reason I've been feeling a little bit nostalgic today. Reminiscing about the many bygone young years of being excited about circling the house with beautifully lit lanterns with my brothers and cousins. Reminiscing about car rides around town admiring the lanterns hung on trees.

Mum and dad had a feast at grandma's house tonight. And my "cutest' auntie was there too! It would have been fun. But sadly, thats life being away from home.

I didn't have a big celebration this year. We had mooncakes, drank tea, had little chats under the moonlight and thats it basically. Things have changed a lot this year, and Gan Bee Yan I'm sure this night would have been much greater if you were here!

Wednesday. 5 more days to go. Like Wei Wei, I'm getting very excited that the due date is drawing closer, but at the same time I'm not ready just yet to submit it! There's a lot of mixed feelings - not getting appropriate feedbacks from you know who is not helping much either. Lets pray pray pray that he finishes reviewing them tomorrow. Please, I really need guidance.

And you know what, life would be beautiful if we never have to reference what we write :D

Milk man

2010-09-20T17:54:00.003+10:00

Okay, I'm here to share some positive energy! Nope, my thesis is not done yet but getting there, getting there! ONE MORE WEEK of effort and I'll win the title. I can get there, I will get there!

Taken at 1 am in the morning. Kuching people are awesome. And BTW we are supposed to make funny faces, and Teo Zhia Yii that is NOT funny lo :D But dont worry, you are still awesome!

Just in case I make people worry (especially Mum), sorry :) ! I'm not upset. I mean I was before, but am not now. I just need to pen things down at times to get things off my chest. Pre-warned you with the title of my blog - the "babbling" toad. Heeee.

Anyway things cleared up a bit, we had a good meal together, back to good times :))

Maybe its just me who is over-thinking it. Ha! Whatever.

Bernard is cooking grilled lamb in the kitchen. Awesome pawsome.

My gym card has already expired, I shall rejoin next week once I kick this thesis off my chest!

Milk man come by our house the other day and gave us a supply of milk to last till the end of the year. Got milk? YESSS!

To an important friend.

2010-09-19T14:25:00.005+10:00

I don't know what comes after this post but I need to let it out.

I want /need /must let you know that in your attempts to find replacements of me, you have prematurely sent me out of your league. I'm not even confirmed that I'm leaving, I don't even know where I am heading to, so please, can you stop thinking about it? At this point in time, let me confidently tell you, I AM NOT HEADING TO THE MAINLAND, NOR ADELAIDE, NOR SINGAPORE. Hear me?

Do you think I feel good at my end too? No, not at all. I don't know what is controlling my reaction at times. Sometimes my emotion-less face makes people think I'm angry or annoyed but really, sometimes I'm not.

And yes, I'm stressed with my thesis. In the midst of searching for your concerns, I cried, gave up and stood up on my own. You have been there through my big assignments, big exams, big practicals and maybe I have taken your encouragements for granted all these while. And now, what place do I have to demand for your care and concerns?

Haih, my friend, regardless of what has happened between us, PLEASE REMEMBER, you have been such an important part of my life and you always will. Okay I admit I mind that someone has taken away my role as your number one companion, and maybe sometimes I appear as though I don't care, but deep inside, I care. I care about how close we used to be with one another, I treasure the silly moments we had together, and I really really missed "our family".

And sorry I couldn't bear to confront you face to face because I am afraid I do not know how to respond.

Still cold

2010-09-16T23:20:00.003+10:00

I came back to blog because Mum was so cute! She saw the news on TV regarding Tasmania's weather and said to Dad that she MUST call me tonight because it sounded so serious! If not she couldn't sleep. Haha. Her "poor children" living in the cold.

And my favourite past-time is to look at baking recipes and make myself crave for this and that. And my mind wanders off deciding whether I should bake this or that, my conscience alerts me of the washings that follow.

The main reason I enjoy baking is because you come up with beautiful creations from the oven, and both the sight and smell makes a happy me.

Those soft cotton Japanese cake, AIYO, I wish I grab them from the screen and eat them!

AIYO, I'm hungry now.

I can feel it in my bones.

2010-09-16T20:54:00.002+10:00

Just like Norman in Nanny McPhee, I can feel "it" in my bones. Not within the same context, but really my bones feel it.

Its nothing but the sudden return of a supposedly "late winter".

I've heard predictions of a late snowfall in September because we didn't really had a long icing winter. And what bummer, they were right.

It has been raining the whole day. Cats and dogs for a second, then the other you see the sunshine, and not too long later back comes the rain. The temperature was hovering around 6 degrees for the whole day, ad now its down to 4 degrees that "fees like 0 degrees". It is really really REALLY freezing I kid you not. I was just in the kitchen trying to cook dinner and my toes were frozen.

Lets hope my little spring onion patch can withstand this crazy weather.

Junior Masterchef Fever

2010-09-14T12:31:00.002+10:00

OMG Junior masterchef was sooooo awesome! Those cute little "things" - things because they are so small, i think the eldest being 12, are so freaking talented in cooking! I watched the first episode over the internet from the official website yesterday, and have since grounded my love for the show. I MUST watch it every sunday. Promise!

What was I even doing at the age of 11/12. I probably was busy competing speed of homework completion with my friends, and probably had never even fried an egg before. I remember when I fried my first egg, I kept on smiling to myself when I ate it because I thought it was so awesome! And excuse me, it happened when I was in secondary school. Ha!

These little kids really put me to shame. I can only cook simple dishes with no guarantee to be finger-licking good. And I might as well don't bake if you were to ask me to bake without recipes. But these kids, these kids whipped up glamarous dishes without even needing a recipe! Ricotta gnocchi, Quatre-quarts, pandan crepes, sauteed mustard rabbit?! *faints*

I should retire from my cooking career.

Why.

2010-09-12T20:01:00.004+10:00

Nothing thus far has affected me that much, apart from the passing of my late grandma.

I can't find the courage to ask why and what happened. I need the answer, but I can't ask.

I guess I'm feeling so miserable because I care from my end. I treasured it. That has been such a big part of my life and I can't bear to give it up.

I've been taken over by Mrs Emo tonight.

Anyone care to ask her why?

:((

Happy farm

2010-09-11T15:28:00.003+10:00

I was so stressed the whole morning that I was not productive at all with my thesis. The very concept of writer's block. I totally understood it whole heartedly. 27th September, 27th September. All I had in my mind was the due date of the thesis. I searched google scholar and pubmed inside out to support findings of my study, and the fact that I could find none was even more heart breaking.

I couldn't find peace with myself. I had a bar of snickers (treats like that doesn't happen everyday for me), with a bowl of instant noodles and an apple. And I was still searching the right comfort food.

I decided after much procrastination to leave the library which I've spend a big lump sum of my last four days in and give myself a break. Although, watching Nanny McPhee and the big bang theory was supposedly my little treat for the weekend.

Anyway, we used to be so crazy about this game called "Happy Farm" in facebook. We would sow seeds, fertilise, weed, water our plants and made sure we reap our sow in time before anyone else steals our fruits /veges. And guess what relaxed me today, our very own happy farm!

Bernard and Aaron revamped our little farm at the backyard a few days ago, and I decided to cut in and dig the soil to de-stress. And it really really really worked!

So far, Aaron had coriander planted, and Bernard planted aloe vera and honey snap peas. I planted spring onions, zucchini, pak choy and lettuce today!

For the moment, I'll just tour you around my little spring onion patch.

Being Little Miss Creative *coughs* I didn't want to just name them Maeraeyah's spring onions. I just had to do something different.

:))

So I came out with what I needed most at the moment.

To believe : Must blossom : To trust : Must grow: To love : To forgive

I actually have a few more that I didnt show in the photos.

Be happy. Be strong. Be confident.

And this last piece of message is for myself and Wei Wei.

Must persevere!

And this was how I felt at the end :))

Ddeokbokki

2010-09-10T18:39:00.008+10:00

I've got a little spare time by myself since the boys are still at the gym and still havent't showered, I decided to spice the atmosphere in this blog with a little tangyness.

Right, may I have the privilege to present you my ULTIMATE FAVOURITE korean dish

*drum rolls*

Korean ddeokbokki! Or in other words that you and I understand - RICE CAKES!

It has been my favourite food ever since I was in New Zealand. They are probably the easiest Korean side dish to prepare, well apart from buying ready made kimchi. Im not a big fan of kimchi, but ddeokbokki rocks my socks!

I remember on my first visit to Melbourne, my cousin made me ddeokbokki for dinner. Life was awesome.

When I was at Melbourne for the weekend during my Bairnsdale placement, we had korean bbq and again, we had ddeokbokki.

Come to think of it, it has been long since I've last posted pictures of my cooking on my blog. Years ago, I used to get hippy over the things that we cook. I just don't really have the time to get all excited about cooking now.

I'd probably should head off to shower.

Another picture, just to show off :D

Awesome pawsome.

最初的夢想

2010-09-08T13:19:00.000+10:00

"最初的夢想緊握在手上
最想要去的地方怎麼能在半路就返航
最初的夢想絕對會到達
實現了真的渴望才能夠算到過了天堂"

我不可以忘记我最初的夢想。

加油，加油，加油！

Grace.

2010-09-07T14:24:00.002+10:00

It has not been a long day just yet, but I can't help but need to channel my exuberance into words.

I don't know whether is it Wei Wei's decision on following Jaeson Ma's 365 days of love that influenced me to become extra diligent and appreciative on things.

I've received a few, but very big pieces of grace today.

I woke up with no internet connection, but it was this that gave me to chance to solve a little of the cause of my emo-ness.

I had to lug the computer to university, but I almost fell off my chair when I saw an email from one of the supervisors. Even though I emailed him to not do a review of my write-up until I've sent him my latest most-updated copy, he decided still to read through what I've written and have my feedback. What amazed me was he got back to me in less than 24 hours. Efficiency makes a happy yaya! :D

Later on during the day I got a call from one of the pharmacies I've applied to arrange for an interview. My little chance of holding down a job!

I had problems trying to tease out information given on the server where my results were uploaded and I decided to email one of the person in-charge for help. He got back to me pretty promptly with a full-on explanation on my queries.

The last piece of grace: I decided to email one of my lecturers on a query that I had, and read what I got in reply.

"I am going to send this to everyone but you have it first."

Awww, this little privilege made my day!

Bake Make Take

2010-09-05T20:39:00.004+10:00

I know its probably getting very annoying that I rant about my thesis and count my days to the dateline every single post so I have decided to stop counting for the moment.

I feel like blogging and sharing deep thoughts but nothing's coming to my mind. The boys are making coconut buns outside at the moment. Their attempts to make butter buns were 1/2 successful last week, except for the fact that they were really as hard as a rock could be if you didnt rewarm them with the microwave before eating.

I have this urge to go home. I don't know why, but I miss the comforts of home.

And I have this random urge to bake too! I look at beautiful recipes of cakes everyday and drool and dream about how they smell and taste like but with no motivation to start baking because the thought of the amount of cleaning-up after baking that I need to do is enough to put me off.

Did I ever say that I actually am quite fond of dancing? I'm definitely not born to be a dancer - I have very bad hand-body-leg coordination, but I actually enjoy myself during zumba? I used to ponder how I'd be like now if I took up ballet dance. But again, mum did right by not sending me to dance classes because who was it who pulled out from a dance performance in kindy to swap and be one of the million little unremarkable singers?

Side note: I actually can't wait for Tulip Festival! The rows and rows of blossoming, colourful tulips - I can't wait to set Mia up to capture this glorious moment!

It has been raining, and raining, and raining, and raining and raining and raining non-stop since the last time I blogged. Mt wellington I bet would be covered with snow tomorrow!

And Ya ya's been pretty emo lately. She is having an inner conflict that I'd say is a little bit better than mid-life crisis. She wants to share her thoughts, spill her concerns, but she cannot find the best words to express, nor can she decide on the right person to tell.

She's not 100% happy and neither is she 100% sad.

Its raining

2010-09-04T09:30:00.002+10:00

This unexplainable distance.

Am I distancing myself or is it time and all sorts of factors?

4th of September. 23 more days to go.

I might just die of hyperventilation before I even get to submit my thesis. I feel like writing my acknowledgement and stuffs that you leave until you finish your whole thesis right now.

And my favourite brand of yoghurt is selling at 1/2 of its original price at coles!

Pretty random on a wet saturday morning. I shared my sunshine with someone in Adelaide, and now its gone :((

Procrastination, go away. SHOO.

Thesis fairy

2010-09-02T21:49:00.005+10:00

My shortcut to solving problems of the day?

Sleep.

You can pretty easily catch me snuggling very cozily in bed as early as 9pm at night during exam times. I resort to sleep when I'm stressed because I cannot have supper.

I'm pretty stressed now because I'm out of words and my brains all worn out and I have an exact vision as with Wei Wei - I, (lets say both) wish that we would wake up to a done and complete thesis. If tooth fairy exists, can we have a thesis fairy please?

And I'm very very tempted to head to bed already and leave all my worries for tomorrow :S

On a happy note, we made the best kolomee in town for dinner tonight! :D

The pork was a super salty and spoiled dish from dinner the night before. We modified it a bit and added into our kolomee. We had fresh garlic oil, spring onions, fried shallots - everything was purrrrfect! We even think its compatible to one of our favourite hawker noodles in Kuching! :D

I've been feeling very tempted to shop these few days. I feel like buying pretty dresses and thank goodness there's not much shopping to do in Hobart or else I would be getting warning letters from Mum and Dad.

Should I sleep? Should I not sleep?

A little bit more to go and good night world! 10pm's my legal bedtime. Heeeeee

2nd of September, 25 days left. Oh no.

Mata saya sakit.

2010-09-01T15:21:00.003+10:00

They hurt from trying to analyse 2 groups of samples that gave me more than 10 thousand proteins. How am I going to analyse, where is the cut-off point, can anyone enlighten me?

I need help. Somebody, somewhere, guide me, guide me!

I got to a point where I couldn't even be sure that the sum 0.2 + 0.2 + 0.2 + 0.2+ 0.2 divided by 5 is 0.2.

0.2 is now the number I hate the most because I have to fill in any single blank in the sheet with 0.2.

I wish I have an abacadabra magic wand that listens to me and work my excel for me.

And volcano plots. Gosh they give me headache. I've downloaded the programme that can help me chart volcano plots, but I don't know where to start.

1st of September, and crap 26 days to the due date. Come on come on, work Maria, work!

Nicknames

2010-08-28T11:11:00.002+10:00

I wish I had psychic power to read minds. So that I know whats going on in your mind. One minute its like we were as good as before, and the other minute, you seemed to me like a different person. I'm a little put off by you to tell the truth.

Other than that, and not getting a job offer (just yet) and not much progression with project, life has been pretty great! Two weeks back to university was awesome - good to be in class, good to see wonder five almost everyday with school bags and water bottles and toilet visits :))

And now, apart from ya ya and wei wei, we have con con, na na, hing hing, shu shu.

Sounds silly and so asian I know. But as with my passion for mirror pictures, I love nicknames. Nicknames personalise relationships. Just like wonder five.

And and, the most AWH-SOME thing is I am going to Sydney with Wonder 5! Though I cant follow them to New Zealand, they decided to so kindfully and lovingly stay a couple of days in Sydney just to spend some time with me so that I dont feel so left out. Heart-felt gratitude my dears.

Pharmacy ball

2010-08-24T08:07:00.003+10:00

Why do I always do the wrong things at the wrong time?

I have a presentation later in the afternoon and I intend to tire myself the whole morning by attending each and every presentation scheduled before me.

And I probably should practice the slides for one last time, but here I am, updating my blog after donkey years.

And I feel like listening to my newly downloaded songs when in fact I should probably rush to shower.

And I know I only have 1/2 hour lunch break - too short to come home, and yet I didn't buy lunch when I did grocery shopping yesterday.

What else is there to babble on?

I managed to attend pharmacy ball last saturday. Our long awaited one and only ball after four years in university. The initial helping each other with make-up and rushing with time was fun! I guess that happens when girls get together. And and I managed to apply my own mascara :D

The food though was a little disappointing. The roast vegetables were superb, but the chicken breast I thought was a bit plain, and the beef and butter - nah. And dessert - worst of all! We got a platter of cheese =_= HELLO, WHERE IS MY CHOCOLATE MUD CAKE?!

Maybe I really should go now.

Okay, ONE picture of the ball :D

Wei wei, Michelle, Joyce, Yin, Jessica, ME! and Jiena

Snow or sleet?

2010-08-16T16:43:00.005+10:00

I had a workshop today with a presenter who was a recovering stutter. I had my little moment of reflection - she had this problem with speech and yet there she is, giving communication workshops to people. She did not see her stuttering as a disadvantage nor take it as the end of the world. She was brave enough to open up to people that she had problems with stutter, and with that, I owe her full due respect. I myself should learn to accept my own shortcomings and not see it as a barrier to open up to people.

Lots of things happened since I last blog. I sort of grown accustomed to problems and to the type of you-dont-get-the-answers-immediately questions. I spend a large portion of each day weighting pros and cons of situations in my head each day, and every single day I feel as though I'm changing more and more like a deep thinker :D Which is good in a way, I was already warned by my secondary school teacher to not be a "tin kosong".

I picked up Twilight to read yesterday. The internet was down, I didnt have any movies to watch, didnt want to start the marathons of drama, so that's pretty much the most inspirational book we have in the house, so there we go. Didn't expect it to be such an easy read though.

And over the weekend, I've had so much home delicacies! Chicken rice, kuching-style bak zhang, the fillings of "bao png tou", tang yuan, milo agar-agar...but sadly, all this is coming to an end when Aaron's family leaves tonight.

And apparently its snowing /sleeting at the moment. Aaron, Bernard and the rest of the family have gone up to Mt Wellington in the hope of catching a snowfall. Bernard saw it snowing in school. While they are out there enjoying the wind and rain/snow, I shall stay cosy in my room, and enjoy the sense of home and safety that I am all dry and warm, and not damp and frozen.

I'm in an exceptionally weird mood today. I'm not exactly happy (there's nothing worth celebrating), but I feel less burdened for some reason.

And to my Wonder Five, sincerest apologies IF I cannot make it to the ball. We shall keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.

Where's my rainbow

2010-08-05T20:47:00.003+10:00

It felt awkward to get back to the screen.

The meal, the supermarket, the girls with our silent little gossips and eyebrows throughout the meals made me forget the world. Out of a sudden, screw worries - I was alive in the present. I didn't have to worry about deadlines, unreplied emails, the long awaited phone call that did not arrive after all.

And after dinner, I sat back at my same work spot. The situation replayed in my mind. It felt terrible.

To be deadly honest, I am disappointed. Very very very disappointed in fact.

Why I question?

Why question when I in fact know better than anyone else that I am not as good as I try to sound.

But why I question again?

Probably someone else deserves the spot more than me. Maybe not just someone. But a few of them.

Maybe God has better plans. Maybe He wants to know how much passion I have. Maybe He's working out something else better for me.

And while I await for a better answer, I thank God for friends who listen. Thank you, you, you, you and you.

A colourful weekend

2010-08-02T12:03:00.005+10:00

Weekend, weekend, how great thou art.

I was more than happy to escape the little monitor in the room to spend some quality time with the girls. We had our little shopping spree, which was really great because we didn't have boys hanging at our necks hurrying us.

We shopped, had bubble tea (my sesame milk tea was awful :S ), okonomiyaki, ate sweets that gave us coloured tongues, a spontaneous photoshoot with wall graffitis..

And if you havent noticed, it was a really colourful weekend.

How I wish its friday again today and I can leave literature review and homework behind and live a life like a 21 year old person.

Its I <3>

Not too synchronised, but nonetheless, I like :) Chea Ee's pose was priceless.

Will I ever get to the end of thesis? I doubt my capability, I doubt my patience.

Only 7 more Fridays to go. Help :S

I thank the Lord

2010-07-29T14:23:00.005+10:00

I thank the Lord for wonderful friends that are willing to trade a night out with you by doing your chores for you.

Ecnat Tan, I already have the feeling that I will miss you when you leave! I can't even bare to calculate the days we have left with you with my fingers.

I thank the Lord for the peace I had in mind during the interview, and the various episodes of inputs on what to say, how to answer.

I thank the Lord for the pair of ears that listens, rehearses, and the car that shelters me from the cruel weather by escorting me to where I have to be.

I thank the Lord for reminding me that in all times of trouble, I can always close my fist, anywhere at any time of the day, and he would be there to listen.

One down, and still a mountain of things to do before I can call it a quit. But I'm all puffed with positive energy! Anybody needs a magical whack?

A little magic in the moonlight?

2010-07-27T08:20:00.002+10:00

Hotmail did a revamp and with the new "sweep" button I managed to delete 4000+ odd emails from facebook notifications and friendster. This is so handy! I can have a much cleaner hotmail :D

There will be a lot happening with my honours. I have to start result analysis once they make them available on the website. Apparently its a big excel file and fingers crossed my computer will be compatible. If not I'd have to stay in university everyday and thats not cosy.

Meanwhile I have to write up methodology and get my supervisor to read it because he said "you wont get it right the first time". Hahaha true, but he didn't have to be that straightforward did he?

Egg tarts from woolworths are absolutely divine :DDDDDDD

"I want to kiss a girl, I want to hold her tight, maybe a little magic in the moonlight."

Fret not, I'm not gay!

Yee hah!

2010-07-25T08:27:00.003+10:00

I woke up at 6:15am yesterday morning out of habit. And it just came as a second nature that I searched for the block of butter to start fry my chicken. Did I tell you the amount of butter I've eaten for the past 3 weeks in Launceston far outweighs the amount I have eaten in the past 3 years?

I'm so happy that I managed to download the few songs to my collection to muse myself whilst I enjoy my dose of freecell.

Anyway back at home. Ahhhh, the pain of having not enough hot water to feed the tenants. The pain of having to wait for everyone to have dinner. The pain of having Bernard and Alex making more than useful noises.

Flip side of the coin.

The joy of having a sit-down meal with so many people. The joy of having Carmen JieJie blow dry my hair for me. The joy of zumba, droplets of sweat, and threadmill.

Happy me

2010-07-23T18:33:00.002+10:00

Alas, I am home.

3 weeks of hospital placements, 3 weeks of 30-35 minutes walk in the fog to and from the hospital, 3 weeks of "tong-chi-dao" with Phyllis, 3 weeks of sinful eating, and 3 weeks later, I am home.

And wei why is my spacebar malfunctioning?!

Nonetheless, as with the Bairnsdale adventure, I've gotten heaps and heaps out of the hospital placement.

I guess, the most important thing that I've gotten out of this placement is that clinical pharmacy is where my interest is, and thats where I want to be from the beginning of my career till the end of it, provided I don't do a second degree when I turn 27.

There's a lot of leftover work to pick up from before the 2 weeks of uni block starts. Honours, HMRs, NPS assignment, 6 case studies. And back to gym routine because *gasp* lets not talk about weight.

It sure feels good to be able to online 24/7! :D

Whole day of waiting.

2010-07-04T13:33:00.003+10:00

The trip from Melbourne to Hobart was a nightmare. We had to check out from the motel at 10am on Friday morning. The train from Bairnsdale to Melbourne was due to depart at 12 40, and we had no where to go because we had to lug around our luggage, backpack, handbags, Mia etc etc. We had an early lunch at Subway, and the trip down to Melbourne was peaceful and good.

A short stopover at Southern cross station where we had seaweed and salmon sushi. We did a short shop at the DFO before rushing to catch the skybus down to the airport.

After checking in, we were told that our flight was delayed by 1/2 hour from its original 730pm departure time. Right, not too bad - we get to enjoy our boost juice then. And we waited, and waited, and waited as our flight continue to get delayed, and delayed, and delayed.

Little did we know that the reason behind the delay was that our plane had been struck by lightning for 8 times *gasps*. Imagine that. The news finally broke to us at around 9 30, and we were given two options.

Option 1, fly in to Launceston, and our drive from Launceston to Hobart will be compensated by the airlines.

Option 2, catch the first flight the next morning.

I was agonising. The initial flight would be as short as an hour and 15 minutes, and yet now, to get from Melbourne to Hobart, I need to fly for an hour to get to Launceston, and another freaking 3 hour bus ride to get from Launceston to Hobart.

At the end, I got home at 3am in the morning. Real joy.

I wouldn't feel as bad if I didn't have to go up to Launceston again on Sunday (which is today) to continue my second block of hospital placements. Sigh. But thank goodness for my Wei Wei aka best placement buddy for the company.

And...I left Bairnsdale with a new nickname, ya ya. To be honest, I quite like it actually :))

Signing off,

Ya ya.

PS: I heard there will not be any internet service in the place that I will be staying in Launceston. Oh joy :(( We'll just have to settle with more movies then right wei wei?

Anddddd, results to be released this Wednesday!

Anddddddddddddd, I'll be seeing Melanie on Thursday /Friday!

Placement diary #8

2010-07-04T10:54:00.000+10:00

Monday, 28th of June, 2010

I woke up, determined to make the initiative to try more things outside my comfort zone because this is my last week ever in Bairnsdale Advantage Pharmacy.

I had a first-hand experience dealing with dispensing without prescription today, in accordance to the Poisons Regulations 2008. A patient presented to the pharmacy with a script for Symbicort. Two issues arose, firstly the script was out of date, and secondly the script was from a Queensland practitioner. The patient was in Bairnsdale for a short holiday and did not bring her inhaler with her. We could do it as an legal owing prescription, ie the pharmacist can communicate with the patient’s local GP in Queensland and have the script sent down to the pharmacy within 7 days of supply, and in this case patient only pays the PBS subsidized amount of $33.30; or conversely, the pharmacist can dispense as private under “emergency supply”, but the downside is the patient has to pay the full amount which was close to $47. Although there is a restriction of 3-days supply only for emergency supply, but because of the dosage form in which inhalers exist in, it is justified to supply one whole inhaler to the patient. The patient settled with private dispensing as in reality, it would be more costly for her to visit her GP for the script because she would have to pay consultation fees on top of the $33.30. This case was managed well in accordance to Standard 2 of Professional Practice Standards endorsed by the Pharmaceutical Society of Australia 2002, which is ensuring that dispensing occurs in accordance with statutory declarations, consistent with needs and safety of the patient.

I composed my own thoughts after the incident, and suddenly I recalled the patient saying “I am coping well without my inhalers at the moment.” It struck me that the patient was not using her inhalers correctly – Symbicort acts as both a reliever and a preventer. Patient must use the inhaler daily for it to work as a preventer. If it wasn’t because of time constraints, the patient would have been counseled more in-depth and her technique of using the inhalers assessed before the supply of medication. Nonetheless, I’ve learnt more about the PBS system and restrictions to supply today, and if similar cases arise in the future, I must not forget about patient counseling to promote the quality use of medicines which is in accordance to Standard 12 of the Professional Practice Standards.

Another incident with OTC products occurred in the afternoon when a patient came in looking for a stronger cream for her tinea. She was close to finishing the whole tube of cream, and yet her tinea on her foot did not improve to a large extent. I recommended terbenafine to try, which was also an anti-fungal agent. I counseled her about the benefits of terbenafine cream over clotrimazole, which was that terbenafine’s once-daily application would be of greater convenience to the patient. It was then that the patient spelled out that she only used the clotrimazole cream once a day instead the recommended 2-3 times a day. The incorrect use of clotrimazole would be one of the reasons for the unimproved condition. I would have done better if I questioned her thoroughly instead of jumping straight into recommendations of alternative products. But given this patient’s non-compliance, she would nonetheless benefit from the once-daily terbenafine application. I set a mental note for myself to always remember to assess patient history first before proceeding further with any recommendations.

I've learnt a lot more about community pharmacy today!

You know its time to leave when

2010-07-02T00:16:00.003+10:00

You don't have anymore excuses to buy more 99cents per kg watermelon.

You itch to buy more 1.50 per kg bananas but it is impossible to spare the space the carry the bananas, and you cannot eat too many bananas because you have a buddy that reminds you about hyperkalaemia.

You can't buy the box of cereal that is reduced by close to half its original price.

You find yourself finishing the last two eggs, the last quarter of tuna chunks, the last few pieces of multi-grain bread for lunch.

You open the fridge, and haih, its empty.

You can no longer buy the 2L milk and end up settling with the more expensive 1L milk because you cannot finish the whole of 2L.

You roll your clothes, tidy your luggage bag and try to fit everything into one bag.

You bid goodbyes, exchange hugs, expressed thanks and a whole length of till we meet again conversation.

Yes, till we meet again.

Nostalgic moments :((

God knows when I would drop by Bairnsdale ever again. I had a great time, learnt a lot more than I have expected, but at the same time I am glad that I'm finally going home for 2 nights before I head on to Launceston for my next block of hospital placements. And the surprise that Bernard claims of having for me at home further spices up my excitement about going home!

Placement diary #7

2010-07-01T23:46:00.001+10:00

I had a busy day at the pharmacy today, mainly behind the counter dispensing scripts as we had quite a large number of pharmacy assistants at work and I did not get as much chance to be involved in patient counseling.

However, I had two very interesting encounters today.

I got to the pharmacy early in the morning at 9am. My preceptor gave me an excited look and told me that he has a project for me to work on today. He gave me a script for Zoloft for a young 8 year old child. The child was prescribed sertraline for anxiety, but his mother was a bit reluctant to let her child start the medication as she was worried about the potential side effects and harm to the child. I was assigned to look for quality information from clinical trials on the use of sertraline in childhood anxiety to assist the mother in deciding whether or not to start the child on the medication.

I was excited because I could finally put my skills on research into practice, and the information I gather will guide the decision of the mother. I made the conclusion through a range of research papers that sertraline, despite its typical side effects such as insomnia, headaches, drowsiness and so forth, is proven useful for treatment of childhood anxiety. It is superior to placebo, and has greater efficacies if combined with cognitive behavioural therapy. We havent had the time to contact the patient and family about the research findings yet, but I'll definitely update her decision once I know of it.

The second interesting encounter of the day occurred after lunch. The pharmacist assigned me to another "project". A patient came to the pharmacy complaining about his faulty Caverject, an alprostadil injector that he received. He purchased 3 injectors, and all three had trouble injecting and he was not impressed with the purchase. He was a regular user of this medication and it is unlikely the fault sprouted from the incorrect use of medication.

I was told to contact the manufacturer and to discuss about refunding this product to the patient. It was scary at my end because I have never made such a phone call, but nonetheless, it was a good chance for me to brush up my skills of communicating and liasing with people. At the end, the manufacturer settled with the decision to contact the patient themselves before they could decide to refund the product.

These two incidents are not the typical day-to-day issues you find in the pharmacy, but it shows me the diverse roles of a community pharmacist.

Apart from that, I witness the provision for methadone for two patients enrolled in methadone program. I saw for myself the procedures put in place, the tricks in masking the taste of the medication and documentations required.

Eggs eggie egg eggs.

2010-06-30T22:36:00.002+10:00

I had a long lunch break today because I got the chance to follow Phyllis's pharmacy's delivery to their depot in Metung, about 30 minutes drive away from Bairnsdale.

OH-MY-GOODNESS. Metung was so beautiful - the view of the lakes and the sea were totally fascinating. There were black swans in the lakes, they look so cute when they duck their head into the water in search of food. The water was still, so blue that it reflected the view of the sky. When a cruise drove past the calm sea, it left rafts of sea waves that rocked the little black swans against the flow.

The worst regret of a photographer is to visit a picturesque place WITHOUT YOUR CAMERA. Its like how can?! I went straight to Metung after lunch, Mia didnt get the privilege to perform her job. I was practically agonising because arghhh I need my camera to freeze this glorious moment! The only alternative was a 2MP phone camera :[ I've already set aside the issue about photo quality, but this bluetooth thingy is playing truant on my patience because it just doesnt want to detect my computer!

Anyhow, I made egg and cheese sandwich for lunch today. Microwaved eggs are so chewy! It takes 4 minutes to turn 3 eggs into hardboiled eggs, and 5 minutes to cook 4 eggs. Hahaha told ya I'll be a professional microwave chef at the end of my placement.

Might be wise to hit the bed now. Last day of my community placement block tomorrow!

Placement diary #6

2010-06-30T22:10:00.000+10:00

Hospital pharmacy

Phyllis and I had the opportunity to visit the Bairnsdale Regional Health Service today. It was a fair walk from our motel, but it was definitely a worthwhile experience.

We sat in during the preparation of a cytotoxic temsirolimus preparation for an outpatient oncology patient. We learned about all the procedures put in place to protect both the product and personnel handling the product, such as proper gowning, double-layered gloves, sterilising the workplace with 70% alcohol and so forth. We also had the opportunity to sit in during the aseptic preparation of lignocaine, adrenaline with hyaluronidase solutions to be used for cataract surgery the next day. This real life experience to be involved in aseptic and cytotoxic preparation has ingrained and enhanced what I've learnt in theory about preparations of these products.

We also got the chance to do two case studies. Both patients were referred to the pharmacists for evaluations as one 91-year-old lady had a high falls risk, and the other 64-year-old man was dysphagic and had a PEG line inserted for feeds and medication administration.

The 91-year-old lady recently had a fall and fractured her pelvis. The fall was thought to be due to her high dose of frusemide combined with perindopril causing postural hypotension. She was already on aspirin 100mg, and was started on warfarin as she had sick sinus rhythm and atrial fibrillation. We sat in when the pharmacist counselled the patient on warfarin, about its role in therapy, side effects to watch out for, consistency in diet and so forth. I have memory of all of these points, and it was great to see how a patient responses to the counselling and how crucial it is to tailor the counselling to get the message across to the patient.

On the other hand, the 64-year-old man was a frail man with bone cancer and liver metastasis, and was in pain and very nauseous as he had a range of anti-nausant medication - metoclopramide, ondansetron, and cyclizine to be supplied if needed. He was also in pain, and had Endone, MS-contin, indomethacin charted. However as he was unable to swallow, and did not have any IV access, we could not crush his sustained release medications. The doctor sought opinions from us and the pharmacist about alternatives, and whether or not it was safe and worthwhile to put the patient on regular paracetamol given that he has pre-existing liver disease. I feel valued as a pharmacist because the doctor really sought for advice on other forms of medication, but at the same time I was disappointed with myself as I wasn't sure if paracetamol was okay for this patient.

Paracetamol would be an issue if the patient was an alcoholic, given that alcohol as an inducer will elevate liver enzymes involved in minor metabolic pathway of alcohol, and raise the proportions of toxic metabolites that can attack the liver cells. The patient was on thiamine, multi-vitamins and magnesium supplements. Although thiamine would likely indicate that the patient is an alcoholic, the patient also appeared malnourished. I've learnt that we should not jump in to conclusion just based on the medications that the patient is receiving.

We settled with using fentanyl patch to solve the issue with SR formulation, with paracetamol and ibuprofen as background analgesia and had PRN liquid oxycodone for breakthrough pain.

It was definitely a worthwhile experience visiting the local hospital.

Placement diary #5

2010-06-29T21:48:00.001+10:00

Second week in the pharmacy.

Things are going prettywell, seeing I am more used to how things work in the pharmacy after working for 6 days.

I've been reminded about the concept of bioequivalence today. A patient presented with a script for Minitran, which was a glyceryl trinitrate patch. We didnt stock this particular brand in the pharmacy, and as patient was away, I wasn't able to ask whether the patient was happy to swap to another brand. My automatic assumption was that swapping to the generic brand glyceryl trinitrate patch was fine, seeing we do that for almost all medications.

The locum pharmacist in charged of the dispensary today stopped me before I could proceed further with my own assumptions. The dispensing program didn't show that both medications were bioequivalent, and the pharmacist wanted me to check the PBS website for any indication of bioequivalence. I searched and found out that both products were not interchangeable as not proven to be bioequivalent, thus swapping brand was technically unacceptable.

I appreciate the little reminder that the locum pharmacist has ingrained in me about the concepts of bioequivalence, and have learnt that you don't just swap brands because we stock the other brands in the pharmacy. It is important to ascertain whether both medications are interchangeable to produce the same effects in the same patient.

Apart from that, I was also reminded to label both the box of the medication as well as the bottle of the medication. I must admit it was my own fault to have forgotten the importance of labeling the actual bottle of medication. After this incident, I now pay extra attention to the form in which the products come in so that I know how the label the product the ideal way to make sure I constantly promote the quality use of medications.

Thoughts.

2010-06-29T20:34:00.005+10:00

Just a week ago I told myself I would not miss Bairnsdale and would be ready to leave anytime. But now, with only 2 more days to the end of my community pharmacy placement, and 2 and a half days in Bairnsdale, I feel a bit reluctant now. You know that feeling when you've got used to things, settled down a bit, more confident in what you've doing, and sorry, its time to leave?

I had this conversation with my preceptor today. He asked me whether we had Chemist Warehouse in Tasmania. I answered, "Yes, of course. We're not that small you know." Haha. Who would believe that I would stand up and defend Tasmania.

I'm still troubled with what my future beholds for me. After a full day of toil and turmoil agonising in the pharmacy about whether or not I would be short-listed for the hospital intern that I applied a month ago or so, I got home, ended up with a massive headache, coupled with a little disappointment. No, I wasn't short-listed. Really, it was a that bit disheartening, a wee bit of let down, but I coped well with phone calls with the family, baboon, and of course, my awesome pawsome placement partner who gave me a good massage on the head and back.

I've slowly opened myself up to community pharmacy. Life is what you make out of it - so is your job. Its your own choice to be the professional you want to be. I have the rights to autonomous practice, and really, it is up to me to practice what I've obtained throughout my 4 years of studies. Well, thats the thoughts of an enthusiastic new graduate for the moment. Hah!

Placement diary #4

2010-06-27T22:38:00.003+10:00

This was actually written on last monday, the 21st of June. I've decided to start again posting what I wrote on my placement blog because whilst the placement blog attached to the e-portfolio only lasts until the end of the year, my personal blog will be accessible forever and ever. I want to be able to look back and reflect a few years down the track, and see I grow more and more like a pharmacist :))

So here we go.

Day 4 at the pharmacy.

I was involved in the sale of mebendazole to a patient today. He had been travelling overseas just recently, and wanted to take some de-worming medications just in case he had been infected. He didn't have any signs and symptoms of an infection of any sort, but he insisted on having the medication. Under the supervision of the pharmacist, I provided the patient with mebendazole chocolate squares and reminded him if he ever get signs of infection, he must come back to the pharmacy or see his GP.

Personally I think I wouldnt have handled this case as well if I didnt have the help of the pharmacist as I was unsure about which products to use, and whether or not to provide the medication given that the patient doesn't have any symptoms. I now know whilst it is important for us to only treat when there are symptoms, treatment is also justified if it reduces patients' anxiety as long as the medication does not harm patients in a couple of doses. What is important is to make sure they take the medications correctly, and are aware of when they ought to refer to their healthcare professionals for help.

Another patient came in today with famciclovir 250mg three times a day for shingles. It was her first time using this medication, and the pharmacist-in-charge made me do her counselling. I provided her with a CMI, directed her about when to use the medication and so forth, and it was different talking to a real patient compared to talking to the lecturers during practical classes. I don't think I counselled as well as I hope I would, because I was a little bit unorganised with my points for counselling and excited at the same time because I was counselling alone for the first time. However, its only the first week of the 3 weeks placement. I'm sure there is more to learn and improve on in the coming 2 weeks!

Apart from that, I was also asked by a patient on the maximum doses of fish oil she could take for her arthritis. I didn't have the answer for it, and had to look at the packings on the fish oil bottles to find the answer. She was just on paracetamol for pain, no other contra-indications or increased chances of bleeding, so fish-oil was a justified choice for her. I've learnt through this experience that it is okay to not know the answers to patients questions. What is more important is you attempt to seek out the answers and remember the answer so that when you are faced with the same question in the future, you know the answer instantly!

Dad

2010-06-27T21:51:00.002+10:00

Whilst I was procrastinating not wanting to start writing my cover letter, I had a browse through the pictures in my harddisk, and look what I found.

Oh dad, isn't your expression priceless? I miss you!

Melbourne was...

2010-06-22T21:28:00.002+10:00

more, more, MORE than awesome.

Last weekend Phyllis and I had a little break away from Bairnsdale. We celebrated our weekend in Melbourne, where we met up with Ting Wei, Carmen, and Tze Ling who was studying in Melbourne, and I met up with my cousins.

Ohhh the food, the shopping, the sky scrappers, the liveliness in town when the sunsets - I can't find the word for it. More than gorgeous.

I can still recall so vividly how I felt like sitting outside hungry jacks at the end of 2007 waiting patiently for my cousin to pick me up from southern cross station. That was my first visit to Melbourne after a 10-months long imprisonment in Tassie, and my, I was awestruck by the civilisation around the city of melbourne, and how different people and things look compared to Hobart. Sad to say, 3 and a half years down the track, I still feel the same. I am still amazed by what Melbourne has to offer, and how left out I felt being in that isolated island.

The soon-to-close application for tassie hospitals and the pressure behind graduation has set me thinking about my life next year. Yes, despite how much I value the job of a hospital pharmacist, getting a job in the hospital isn't as easy as I hope it would be. And the chances of me getting into hospitals in bombastic places like melbourne and sydney is way tinier than a grain of sand on the beach.

I've sort of learned through time to be more open to all possibilities. Community pharmacy is the only alternative option if I don't want to stay in rural areas. Do I let go my dream, my determination to use what I've learned in university to practice, or do I opt to give myself the opportunity to polish up business skills that I shamefully am lack of?

I don't know.

The due date to the application is the 2nd of July. I've got less than 2 weeks to come up with a resume, cover letter etc etc and everyday after work, all I want is to eat, watch movie and relax.

Who has the answer for me? Almighty Father, you have my book of life right? Can you pleasssseeee give me a hint about what is to come?

Placement diary #3

2010-06-17T23:39:00.001+10:00

Day 3 at the pharmacy.

It was another busy day at the pharmacy. I have familiarised myself with the dispensing system now - which allows me to pick up a little on my speed of dispensing. I now know when and when not to dispense generic medications to patient, and have had a better grasp about medicare, private scripts and so forth.

I was involved in the sale of OTC Nurofen Plus today, a schedule 3 medication to a patient. She wanted some nurofen plus for her headache, and I went through questions I had in mind before agreeing to supply the medication under the pharmacist's supervision. As I was under the constraints of time, I was unable to ask as many questions as I would under the ideal situations, but I've learnt through this experience to prioritise important issues and to only agree to supply in conditions where you are truely satisfied with the need to supply.

There was a query from a patient about Nurofen and heart attacks. She heard from her friend that nurofen causes heart attack, and decided to stop taking her medication at all while she normally requires 1-2 tablets a day for pain relief. Again, the pharmacist handled this case well. He assured her that the risks of having heart attacks with taking occasional doses of ibuprofen is likely to be low, and that she should improve her other risk factors for ishcaemic heart disease such as high BMI, hypertension and so forth to reduce her risk. The patient was satisfied with the counselling, and I could see her face of relief after consultation with the pharmacist.

Dispensing wise, I had the chance to make up an antibiotic suspension, and dispense creon, a pancreatic extract for a young boy whom I suspect has cystic fibrosis. I have only been exposed to cystic fibrosis and pancreatic extracts in lectures and have not seen a real life case of such condition. It was a good reminder about the use of this medication for this condition.

The unique thing about victorian pharmacies is they supply medications to a pharmacy "depot" in a rural area. The depot is set up in a particular rural area in order to supply medications to patients at that local region, where it is not economical to set up pharmacies or have visiting locum pharmacists to dispense medications there.

The pharmacy that I was placed at supplies medication for the town of Omeo, which is about an hours' drive away from Bairnsdale. What happens is the local GP at Omeo faxes the script down to the pharmacy, we dispense it, get it packed up and send them up to Omeo via a shuttle service.

Although it is unavoidable that under these circumstances, patients at the Omeo side do not get as much counselling as they need to, but whenever patient receives a new medication or has any queries, they contact the pharmacist here directly. There is even a video phone that allows face-to-face chats between Bairnsdale and Omeo!

Placement diary #2

2010-06-17T23:37:00.000+10:00

Second day at the pharmacy.

Today I had more opportunity being in the front of shop, helping to receive scripts, send out prepared scripts, and make referral for OTC medications. Compared to last year, I have gained much confidence talking to patients and instead of seeking all routes to hide behind the counter, I find myself grabbing every possible opportunities to interact with customers and learn all I can about customer service.

I have learnt today that diazepam here in Victoria is considered a "dependence" drug. There is similar control over these prescriptions as they are in Tasmania as a S4D medication, but in Victoria these scripts must be hand-written.

There has been a lot of request on cough and cold medications, possibly due to the transition of weather towards winter. A mother of a child presented to the pharmacy today concerned about the precautionary warning in her daughter's Dimetapp Cough and Cold Elixir about careful use in asthmatic patients. Her daughter was asthmatic, and the mother wasn't sure whether it was alright for her daughter to use the medication to manage her cold.

She was referred to the pharmacist, and he assured her that the medication was okay for the child, and that it would not trigger any asthma, but she was counselled about differentiating between an asthmatic cough and a cough related to the cold. She was further reminded that the medication could cause drowsiness due to the active ingredient present in the Dimetapp Elixir, mainly the dextromethorphan component.

I personally think that the pharmacist handled this case professionally, gave good advices and certainly I need a lot more practice to be as fluent and confident in giving advices!

Placement diary #1

2010-06-16T21:26:00.004+10:00

P/S: This what I have written on Pebbepad, an e-portfolio thing that the university has introduced to us. We had to write entries about interesting things that occurred during the day in the pharmacy, and since I'm writing it on a daily basis, and since Phyllis posted hers on her blog, I'd do so too! Do apologize if some parts are a little too technical for non-pharmacists, I'm leaving it all in so my stories cater for my fellow circle of pharmacist friends! :D

Here's my entry for day 1 at the pharmacy.

Victorian pharmacies operate in a similar fashion to Tasmanian pharmacies. The Bairnsdale Advantage Pharmacy that I was placed at was a rather big pharmacy, having allocated areas within the pharmacy for professional service areas, diabetes management, blood pressure monitor and so forth. I had a fair chance dispensing and assisting in handling customers and referring them to the pharmacist where appropriate today.

One of the interesting incidents that occurred today was that a patient presented to the pharmacy saying she was taking Pregabalin (Lyrica) and flu/cold tablets which contained codeine. She read it in her CMI that she was not supposed to take codeine, and wanted advice on what other medication was best for her condition.

I referred her to the pharmacist to handle this case. We read it in the eMIMS that codeine and pregabalin when concurrently administered will cause sedation and CNS depression and it awas adviced not to take both medications concomitantly. The pharmacist adviced her to consider an alternative cold tablet Sudafed, which contained phenylephedrine instead. The patient was happy with the consultation and advice given.

Another incident happened where a patient came in to buy cold tablets because of her nasal congestion, but she claimed having pseudoephedrine allergy. She was also offered Sudafed, which was a justified choice as pseudoephedrine and phenylephrine do not cross-react.

9:54

2010-06-14T07:03:00.026+10:00

Hey ho from Bairnsdale!

So many things to be thankful for.

#1 2.29 for one dozen of 700g eggs.

#2 Wireless internet! It was a bit slow at the beginning, but an accidental decision to shift the table closer to the bed so I have access to the power plug made the wireless service stronger! :)) And now I can jump on bed anytime, get up and check for facebook update, then go back to sleep again! Its so strong that I dont even have to wait for it to load youtube. Awesome pawsome!

#3 We didn't have any place to cook -so it would be a horror if we had to eat out for the rest of the 20 days. Its a little room with one double and one single bed, with toilet and shower facilities. But we requested and they said they will bring in a microwave for us today. Yeayy can cook noodles already. Haha. We'll be pro microwave chefs at the end of placements.

#4 A cute little lightly snoring placement buddy :D

Nuff said, I'll just leave some photos of the very rushed surprise for Carmen's early birthday. First time uploading using photobucket - a bit troublesome because I have to constantly try to downscale the photo size. But nonetheless, I'll be back with photos of Bairnsdale okays! Very sunny today, but I didnt bring any thin jacket :[

Home-made oreo-dark chocolate cupcakes! Cute or not cute or not :P

Dream

2010-06-09T06:23:00.004+10:00

The alarm clock buzzed. I woke up and I felt so out of place.

I was so relaxed in my dreams. I cant exactly recall what happened or where I was, but I can be pretty sure that I was a liberated, free man. No bugging exams. So carefree that when I woke up, I ALMOST forgot that I have an oral exam today, until I turned left and saw the pile of "Top 150 PBS meds" and "OTC cases" lying on the floor waiting for me to pick them up.

I wish my brain was like a photocopying machine. I wish I could just scan the whole image of my notes in, and whenever I need them, flip them in the exam like an open book test.

And you know what, as I continue to loose strands of hair when I try to expand my brain a little inch bigger, the autumn trees - they have gone bald too. Sigh.

2 down, 3 more to go.

I'm running a marathon, a marathon so tiring, but aren't I glad that this is not a one man's race.

A little too soon perhaps?

2010-06-04T07:35:00.002+10:00

Isn't this all coming to an end a little too soon?

I danced with a gleam of sorrow in zumba yesterday, despite it playing my favourite disco and cowboy song. Study week is coming to an end - that means exams in 3 days time, placements coming the week after next. I wont have time for zumba next week, and the coming 6 weeks of placements away from home, awwwww its going to be long zumba holiday! :(

And before I could comprehend, the year would very quickly come to an end, thus the end of zumba, the end of the legacy of wonder five, and perhaps to end to Hobart as a second home? I still have trouble digesting that its already June oh goodness me. So slow down, slow down.

*hyperventilates*

Exams, exams! Arghh!

One more weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkk!

Autumn and the invisible prison

2010-06-01T14:52:00.003+10:00

My sister is nosy. She picks on me when I don't fold my clothes properly. She eyes at me when I make unnecessary noise in the room. She nags me about not spending too much money in Melbourne. She is my sister and I love my sister.

Hah. What am I doing? I know what it means by being worried sick now and why parents nag us a zillion times about not forgetting this and that when we are off on holidays by ourselves. Bernard has finally gone off to Melbourne and has safely arrived and is on his way to the city now. I am worried about him travelling alone, about him finding his way back to Hobart on Saturday etc etc but I think its about time for his bossy sister to let him grow up. Alrighty then, enjoy little brother! :D

Whilst he is off to a thrilling week jamming with his friends, enjoying the urban smell of one of Australia's greatest cities; his sister, i.e. me continues to battle with the piles of notes.

Its so beautiful outside now with the yellowing /reddening autumn leaves. And the bed of brown leaves on the floor - my goodness - that would make awesome photographs! My heart eeks with sadness because #1 I cant afford to take some sweet time off to satisfy my artsy needs, and practical note #2, Mia is out of battery.

I think this sudden ringing in my ear is telling me to get off the internet and study!

What has study done to our sanity? One writes about addiction of sweetness, one shows unflattering candid photos (which totally entertains me so I don't really mind), and the babbling toad, she's........

Lemon Crisps

2010-05-28T12:38:00.002+10:00

There go the end of my semester one.

Can you believe how fast time flies? It was just a few moments ago when I had to agonise over celebrating Chinese New Year away from home, it was just moments ago when I became an avid fan of Zumba, and it seems like yesterday that I had to rush about collecting blood samples, and it was early May before, and now we're already approaching the end of May.

By the way, Lee won American Idol. It wasn't suprising for him to win this title, given that it was pretty obvious that he has a greater fan base compared to Mammasox, although Mamasox's voice so obviously overpowered Lee's in the finale. And why why why did Simon decide to leave AI? :(

It was wild last night. Wild because I went to bed even before 9. I intended to lie around and read my notes because my back was so sore you wouldn't comprehend, and hahahaha somehow I have this habit of closing my eyes when I memorise, and from there I went from the world of medicines, to the realm of my own dreams. It was until Bernard made an awkward sound that I woke up and told myself, screw that, I'll just go to bed. The only thing was it wasn't a guilt free indulgence to sleep early when exams are approaching.

Okay, another guilty confession.

After the addiction with the teevees, I decided to stop buying them, and then Aaron came around spoilt my self-discipline to stop eating chocolate stuff. He came back with a packet of Crispy M&M after Sim's recommendation, and while they weren't as tasty as the peanut ones, they are still as tempting. So no exercise, and more chocolates. INPUT output. You get the picture?

Yet another guilty confession.

I'm blogging now instead of studying because yikes I don't want to study! Two more weeks, two more weeeeeeeeksss!

Fee Fam Fun

2010-05-25T21:18:00.006+10:00

Life is a joke at times. It is often when you have other better things to do that you proceed and do the less important things and then you regret and indulge in a pot of guilt.

When there's more important things like trying to remember all the ways to give IV drugs to patients, or how this and that chemotherapy medication works, I give way to more treats checking facebook updates, photoblog updates etc etc. After all, it doesn't take much to convince oneself that you know, its time for a little rest :))

Seems like I'm not as worried as I thought I would be for the coming exams. No, do not get me wrong. I am NOT prepared for the exams at all, its just that all the coming activities after exams - the placements in rural victoria, the hospital placements, the assignments after assignments, the lining up of birthday celebrations all get me a little bit hyped up. Maybe its because exams are not that near yet. Or maybe I'm just not aware of how fast time flies.

I'm a pot of emotions now. What to do? I have hormones!

I have a serious addiction to the chocolate coated malt sticks TeeVee biscuits - so serious that I can crunch sticks by sticks like an addicted Popeye to his cans of spinach.

And I am delighted to say yes I will have internet in Bairnsdale! I don't have to be facebook deprived for 3 weeks, and I don't have to learn to speak to cows to kill time. Wait, Bairnsdale is not that country actually. I have Target right next to my pharmacy :P

Who do you think would win American Idol? Lee or Crystal?!

We'll know the answer by the time i write the next post.

And I think Rivaroxaban is such a cool name for a drug.

Bella

2010-05-24T06:31:00.003+10:00

This week will be the final week of the semester. I’m a bit nostalgic seeing each class may potentially be a “final pharmacokinetic class”, “final therapeutic class”, final lectures with this and that person, although there are just some classes that I am more than happy to be over and done with.

Last Saturday was Bella’s first birthday. It was my first time shooting a baby with Mia, and after not communicating with Mia for quite some time, I sort of lost the flexibility, the familiarity to see and shoot, but nonetheless, babies are so cute because they look so innocent and adorable! I havent got the time to correct the exposure, so the colours might be slightly off, but lets just appreciate her expression alright?

Bella and the "Pumpkin bubur cacar".

"I want some more I WANT SOME MORE!" *pouts lips*

And the cutest moment was when they played the singing elmo, and Little Bella decided to dance! She shook her butt and was enjoying herself so much. It was a glorious moment. Haha.

This is an awesome picture because she looked so naughty! But hahaha it was actually cos she was coughing when grandma carried her and hahaha.

One week sum-up

2010-05-15T10:42:00.003+10:00

What a hectic week it was!

I had a seemingly calm Monday, seeing all 3 pharmacokinetic lectures were cancelled and I had time to prepare for my mock oral exam on Friday.

Then came Tuesday. I got an email from my supervisor saying the clean-up kit for my project has finally arrived and wanted me and Phyllis to start our project on Thursday! We grinned with stress because yes we were very excited that finally everything is going to start, but at the same time, haih, why on the week when we have the mock oral exams?

Then came another Facebook status saying we are going to Bairnsdale for our community placement! Wohoo finally, a little adventure awaits us right after the exams. I am excited because when weekend comes, I can take a 3-4 hours train ride and go Melbourne to shop and eat.

Then another email came asking us to go do our project on Wednesday instead. So somehow I got going with the lab work, was sneered at for looking so closely to my samples so close that I would be able to lick them, and my first ever experience doing such serious work until late evening in the university. Thank goodness for the car and hot pasta that comforted the tired me.

I had to go back and finish up the lab work on Thursday which was another pain because I wasn't prepared for my oral exam! The only option was to sacrifice sleep - I decided to wake up at 6 to read through my oral stuff before heading down to do my project later during the day.

My alarm was set to ring at 430 in the morning on Friday, and hahaha by the time I managed to crawl out of bed on a cold autumn's night, it was 5:45am. And by the time I finished my bottle of warm water and got enough of facebook, it was 6:15am. Bummer. I'm such a bad facebook addict that I had to switch off my computer to deter me from entering that website.

How was the oral exam? Not too bad! :) It felt good that I was able to answer some, if not most of the questions. It was a good experience - I hope the coming real oral exam would be as good too!

We had McDonalds ice-cream last night, and ahahaha a new attendant gave Bernard this small tiny ice-cream cone that when another senior attendant saw it, he was like "Oh no no no no, WHAT IS THAT?" This is such a disgrace!" And he was replaced with a gigantic 50cents ice-cream cone.

We had a good laugh walking out of McDonalds and what a good way it was to end the day.

And I'm full of exclamation marks because I've completed my presentation slides, and once I get the management assignment done, lets go full turbine on the exams shall we?

Mummie

2010-05-09T16:17:00.005+10:00

To my one and only mummie that I miss a lot on this special day of May, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

I think of you when I wake up and there is nothing to eat for breakfast.

I think of you when I make milo.

I think of you when I fold clothes.

I think of you when I am sick.

I think of you when I think about the super-long korean series.

I think of you when I have juicy stories to tell you.

I think of you when I am annoyed with Bernard.

And I think of you when I'm in need of someone to talk to and I miss you a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot dear mummie!

What about you and Dad come over in Aug :D

Bashing

2010-05-05T17:40:00.004+10:00

Hobart was once a wonderful, peaceful, safe, non-violent, calm, serene, beautiful place to live in. We could walk to university in the middle of the night, walk to the supermarket to catch last few pieces of roasted chicken selling for half its original price, walk to the casino when you feel like having a cup of free hot chocolate.

As time passes by, things change.

Few days ago, I came across the news of 2 students being bashed on separate occasions by a group of ang mohs. One of them was chased all the way from the street I live in, down to the main road where he sought refuge in McD, which was thankfully operating 24/7. He was smashed with a glass bottle, he was bleeding, and had to have a few stitches in the hospital.

This piece of news was scary, but not shocking, well because... Aaron himself got whacked a few weeks ago. On the night of 15th April.

I didnt write about it here on the night the incident occured because it was then a secret kept away from his parents. So what happened was he basically got punched on the floor, got kicked a few times and thus he had bruises on his face, his head, his shoulders, and the back of his spine was even aching for a few days.

Bashers, it isn't just the physical damage that you're causing to these poor victims! Think about how they feel - we're Asians so what? We are human beings too!

Anywayyyyy, look at the picture above. My hair used to be so straight even when it was short. What happen to my hair now?!

Milly mollo

2010-05-04T21:40:00.002+10:00

If only Hakuna Matata really exists.

I think aging already has its toll on me. After just mere one sleepless night, I feel so drained and worn out as early as 8 30 at night. I feel like sleeping already but I haven't found any good sources for my management assignment. I'm not born to do business, really. All the while whilst trying to type "employee", my fingers were completely under the control of my medulla oblongata - I kept typing "patients" instead. Talking about patients has become part of my second nature.

I've got so many things zig-zagging across my mind. All through my past 3 years of university life, I haven't had that many assignments as I have had this year. So many datelines to meet, so many things to finish, so many things to think about, so many miserable moments and thats why I am here blogging when in fact I could be sleeping.

Thats why I said earlier on, if only hakuna matata really exists. I'd love to have this problem-free philosophy where I just go about with things as the time comes and basically, be worry-free as well !

I am not anticipating for anymore picture-filled, interesting blogposts as exams are drawing near, I haven't got time to spend with Mia - my life is as black and as white as a printed article on a piece of paper. Stupid metaphor. What am I doing here?

Oh actually, I will be a 6 weeks back to back placements away from Hobart right after the exams starting in mid June. And there's more than likely that the place I will be heading to does not provide internet.

Hola to traditional phone calls. And I shall spend some bonding time with Mia alrighty.

Ah and actually, its been 3 years since I started writing in this blog.

Time flies like mad.

Being a girl

2010-05-01T19:03:00.006+10:00

When I get mad at you, I voluntarily switch off my ears and choose not to listen to what you say. Whatever questions you give me, I choose to not look at you and ignore you.

All I wanted was a little comfort, a little note of apology for wanting to hit me when I accidentally caused the scratch on your leg, and not you acting like nobody's business, went ahead and cooked noodles for you and only yourself, and not asking me for the final time before you feast on them.

Maybe I shouldn't be the one typing this and pouting my lips for I was the one who was being so inherently annoying.

What to do, I apparently have the annoying genes.

I want to eat oranges for dinner and I do not want to see your face.

I'll move on

2010-04-30T17:35:00.003+10:00

This road that I'm taking twists and turns
My life my chance turning dreams into reality.
Down this path faced with so many things
Sometimes I feel like giving up and turn away

Can't seem to go on
And I've been thru' this before
Now where am I?
Where do I stand?
A little lost here.
But I'll remember.
All those times you've bought me thru'.
I'd be a fool to give up cos' the goal is near

I'll move on I'll go on.
Lord I will take your hand.
And you will guide me along.
Survive thru' this storm.
So I say, come what may.
I'll hold on to my hope.
Yes, I will walk down this road.
And my passion drive will lead me on

Here I am Once again caught in the rain.
Looking back I've come so far And I want to carry on
Take a step at time
It's alright.
Even thru' this rain, I want to smile again

Don't hold back now.
And i've been thru' this before.
Now where am I?
Where do I stand?
A little lost here.
But I'll remember.
All those times you've bought me thru'.
I can feel the sun shining down on me

Here I am, Here I am.
Lord I will take your hand.
And you will guide me along.
Survive thru' this storm.
So I say, come what may.
I'll hold on to my hope.
Yes, I will walk down this road.
And my passion drive will lead me on.

The lyrics for this song fits in perfectly for some of us while we twist and turn our way towards the end of the semester. Screw datelines - so I say, come what may, I'll hold on to my hope.

Mia visited the university!

2010-04-25T08:16:00.009+10:00

Today is Anzac day, and tomorrow, most of the universities in the mainland have holidays. And haih, Tassie is being extremely hardworking again cos blah we do not have holidays!

I think I've lost the oomph to write because my life is too mundane at this stage - it revolves around eating, sleeping, preparing for the oral exam, cooking, gym-ing and getting like ants on a hot pot when it comes to emailing my supervisor.

Its already coming to week 9 - meaning what, 10, 11, 12, 13 - four more weeks to the end of the semester and there really is still not much progression with my project. Its even more annoying when its a one-sided frustration - I'm so worried and irritated at this side of the coin, and he seems so breezy and acts like we have plenty of time in semester 2 to whip up a good thesis.

We took this photos in university because we had 1 hour break in between before attending a talk, and it was about time to let Mia have a look around the university!

After the N number of photos with different expressions you get from Chong Yin Yin, its pretty obvious who is the NUMBER ONE camwhore in Wonder Five.

And behold, the number one picture by Jiena!

Enough of Chong Yin Yin cos I don't want to get stung by her gazillion bees :P

Just because everyone was doing it - speak no evil. hear no evil. see no evil. Eh eh, you people are in the wrong order!
Ballerinas LOL :D

The coming three photos are soooooo lala I have been contemplating whether to post these photos on facebook and there is such delay in uploading the photos. Consent people, before I breach the law of privacy :D

Oh by the way if havent noticed our colour of the day was GREEN, so people, judge! Hands up if you think Phyllis was wearing more blue that green.

There you go, the one and only photo with the complete Wonder Five. Mama Joyce, Afraid-of-tickles Po Jiena, Saliva Po Phyllis, Pork Ribs Po Yin Yin, and yours truly, Toilet Po.

Pictures. YEAY!

2010-04-17T22:03:00.005+10:00

It seems like I had a real long day today. Long day not because I was busy with academic stuff, but rather, I was busy shifting here and there doing this and that. One minute I was at the newly opened momo shop that sells bubble milk tea for 3.90 per serve. A few minutes later, I was at Salamanca buying apples for Bernard, and another few minutes later, I was cutting onions for our sushi dinner!

We have not had any home-made sushi for a long long time. It was really great. We had smoked salmon, eggs, avocado, tuna, mayo corn, and fish roe! And it was painful really, to eat wasabi-laden sushi, but it was really entertaining to see people tear with choo-choo steam blowing out of their nostrils and ears.

A horrifying event happened last Thursday night - it was really really scary, there really are idiots out there that do nothing but take pleasure in other people's misery - but at least it has given me the chance to be there for you when you needed me, to roll hard-boiled eggs over your bruises - in compensation for all the comforts you gave me when I had my monthly period pain.

At the same time, it makes me wonder what Australia beholds for me in the future. No matter how much we try to fit into the local community, we can alter the accent (and learn to pronounce three as "three" instead of tree"), the way we dress, dye the black roots brown, there is nothing that can alter what lies underneath the yellow skin, the chinese looking features, and the truth that we do not belong here nonetheless.

My ultimate dream is once I've earned enough living in Australia, I want to move back to Kuching. I don't want Kuching to be my annual destination for "summer holidays". I want to go home because that's my home, that's where I belong, and not just because I have holidays. Or because its Chinese New Year or whatsoever. I have been away from home for close to half a decade already. For the past four years, I mean, going home is great - you're on holidays, meaning no studies, no exams, mum cooks, there's a car to drive etc etc, but ultimately when the day you're due to leave - that feeling pretty much sucks.

I look forward to my grand return to my home country for good. I know that day will come. Like what the guest lecturer we got for human resource management class last friday said, you can always get what you want - the secret is to want it hard enough to push you to achieve it.

Having said so, I still want to work and live in UK!

Why do I feel like such an emo chick?

I know - its because this is the very end of Saturday.

Sunday

2010-04-12T18:27:00.003+10:00

Last Sunday was a fulfilling and exciting day.

Praise be to God. We had an awesome music accompaniment in church - with Bernard on the guitar and microphone, and "guest appearance" of Carmen on the microphone as well, and I was on the piano. This was the first time we actually introduced vocals in the mass, thank goodness we went well. At least I think we did! :))

I am already looking forward to making more music this coming Sunday!

Apart from that, there's no particular excitement nor misery that I have to proclaim as I live my life as a student. I'm going to collect the blood samples tomorrow, so keep fingers crossed, I'll come back this time safe and sound, and things would be just fine.

And oh, I have finally decided that the regular ice-cream treats is balancing up the calories I lost in the gym, so now people, stop tempting me! I am only allowed a maximum of ONE ice-cream per week, so yeah, no more but but please please, ONE IS THE MAXIMUM. My last ice-cream was McD's waffle chocolate cone on Saturday, so no more ice-cream until next saturday.

Zumba - doesnt it just make you move and smile.

Zumba ah uek uek wo wo woo, zumba ah uek uek woo woo woo! :D

Maggie Kari

2010-04-09T22:12:00.003+10:00

It was tough looking at the brown box of goodies sitting on Bernard's chair. I couldnt wait to prey on it, but I thought it would be courteous to leave it until Bernard comes back from Port Arthur. I absolutely love the feeling of receiving parcels from home, and I thought it would be nice for him to experience this little comforts from home.

So yes, finally, he came back and I instantenously jumped off the chair, opened the box, and my, the smell of Sarawak Laksa hit my sense of smell and my my, it smelt delicious *slurps* The customs actually cut open one of my laksa paste to check out what was inside that goo-ey black looking paste and they just threw it back into the box without resealing -thus I had the paste leaking out onto my instant noodles, curry paste etc etc, but I'm still a jolly kid nonetheless.

Whilst trying to clean up the mess, I got the smell of laksa all over my fingers, and it was like every 2 minutes I repeatedly smell my own fingers and link my thoughts to laksa with teh c peng. Oh heavens. Thank goodness I was born and raised in Kuching. And excuse me penangnites, Sarawak Laksa is NOT curry laksa + lime lo okay. Its our very little authentic dish :D

And I'm absolutely excited about eating instant noodles for lunch now because hey I've got so many new flavours to choose from in the pantry! We've been eating on indomee, and indomee, and more indomee, and now, finally having maggie curry, daddy mee, sup tulang etc etc whoa everything is just too good to be true.

What I'm basically doing now is ramling on something so that I can delay my time and not try to get my head around with the legislation assignment. I pretty much reaffirmed myself that law is not my calling, I hereby salute you Chai Siaw Ting :D

Always a nett positive energy balance

2010-04-04T00:27:00.007+11:00

I dont know how, but I was previously a very disciplined person who treats supper like the most evil Medusa on earth. I left supper untouched for a couple of years, ever since teenage hit and I became cautious about putting on weight. I can go to bed hungry, and you cannot do anything to lure me to eat at midnight.

I guess as you grow old, perceptions change, and ya, wills change as well. The times that I've had supper this year far exceeds my supper frequencies in the past 5-7 years. I'm penning this down out of guilt because I've just had a bowl of instant noodles with one egg, ham pieces, and mixed peas and corns. Shit, why did I let it happen again?

For the previous years, I always stored extra kilos of fat under my belt because I eat a lot during the day and I do not get enough exercise. The NO NOs to supper sort of kept everything under control. But now, I go to the gym at least 3 times a week (thats 3 weeks in a row already, hurray!), and my weight is still pounding on day by day because I sneakingly have been giving in to invitations to eat supper partly to join in the fun of having supper together and alright, fulfill the calling of my stomach. I think having Bernard here is a big influence - this 17-year-old still growing boy is hungry most of the time, and needs supper almost every single night!

And I think I realise writing all these didnt unleash the guilt of having supper still!

Update 2 hours later.

That marks the end of day-light saving. I got back my extra one hour of the day - it was 2.25am one hour ago, and its still 2:25am. Hee.

I planned to update about cycling today, but I guess the pictures have to come some other time because oh my, I look like a walking panda. Hang on, pandas' walk don't they? :D

"That's a wrap" [in Jay Manual's tone]. My brains are so congested with America's Next Top Model and American Idol.

Too soon.

2010-03-31T19:07:00.002+11:00

I can't believe that its already Easter/mid-semester break. How could time pass by so quickly?

It was ages ago when I first noted that my RMMR visit was scheduled on the 31st of March, which was week 6, just a day before the easter break. I thought it was going to be a long wait, but hey, time waits for no one, here I am writing on the 31st of March, after returning from the RMMR visit.

I feel rather inferior now. I could not answer the questions given to me during the session, and I feel as though I've embarrassed myself with the silly answers and recommendations. I feel rather reluctant to face the fact that despite being able to perform in end of semester exams usually, my brains during usual semester days are rather empty. I can't remember what I've learnt, I can't remember what I used to remember, urgh, its just worries me a lot.

I've been reminded again today that good results does not always equate to good work performance. Deep inside me there is always this fear that people would one day refer me as the person who knows how to study and sit exams, but when put into real life situations, she's an absolute crap.

The sudden thoughts of entering the workforce next year frightens me. I'm not prepared to handle all this just yet. I'm not prepared to leave the life of a student. I'm not prepared to face mean people out there that would criticise me and break my heart.

Its just annoying to feel so emo when hey, its Easter break woman!

I guess part of growing up is knowing how to worry. Look at Bernard, he's so care-free, holidays means sleeping late, waking late, football, dota etc etc, and you really don't want to know what holidays mean to me. Or what it means to Aaron.

Blame all this emo shit to Aaron. He was emo first.

Good songs hit.

2010-03-28T23:01:00.003+11:00

Everytime the song "Graduation" from Vitamin C rings in my head, I can't help but think about friends.

We used to talk and laugh like nobody's business. We used to be such close buddies that took all opportunities to meet up for movies, hop along shopping centres in the golden triangle. We used to imagine our typical gang meetings in the future, where we would bring along little juniors of ourselves will be the exact, or probably a more annoying us.

And then there were times when we hit 17 and some of us learned how to drive, and the thoughts of the times cramping into one small car and being so worried about being caught for traffic offence puts a smile on me.

And there were also times we had our catch phrase - my version of "bye" that ends with a high pitched "bye-ai", Meng's "yer!", Jun's "eu eu", Aaron's "Fringggg", Kok Fung's "We must communicate!", Esther's "Ni shi huai ren!" etc etc.

There were times when we fought across the aisle between tables with our mini umbrellas, and opened it up at the back of the class and had an awesome maths teacher that sneered at us instead of scolding us. And they were also times when the BM teacher caught me drawing on people's hands and asked me, "tidak ada kertas ker?"

And there were times when we looked forward to recess to buy the simboi ice-cream from koperasi. And there were times when we specially brought boiled eggs to school and drew funny faces as a birthday gift for Jun.

We used to have lengthy phone calls on the conventional old phones and I had to switch the phone from one ear and then to the other, then back because it was getting too warm.

High school seems like a long long time ago now. I once was 17 (technically 16 because I'm a december baby), and I once wore uniform and looked forward to school on Monday because of nice clean white shoes. I once had a bunch of close-knit friends because we were all in Kuching.

It saddens me quite a bit now that we are all scattered around the world. We cant be there physically to comfort each other through times of hardships, we cant be there to share each other's jokes, and we can no longer be the first few ones to know about the recent crushes and so forth. But whatever it is, my Kuching friends, you guys are really my buddies still and I want to give you all a big hug, right now!

And like what the song sings, "As we go on, we remember, all the times we had together; and our lives change, from whatever, we will still be, friends forever."

Murmur.

2010-03-26T09:33:00.003+11:00

Sometimes the reality of working life, apart from the security of having a job and constant generation of income, its pretty much working in the face of big boss and other collagues. Life or more so the 8 hours at work can be pretty dreadful when things don't go your way. Hmm. How would my working life be I wonder?

With my project, there's no other ways but just proceed on with alternative patient selection criteria. Not sure if all these works, but we'll try and see. I don't think I'll make it in time for analysis during Easter, but oh wells. The thing is my supervisor laughed at me for emailing him in such panic state - judging from my sentences "We're in big trouble"..."Can I come to see you now?" Thinking back, I really was in a panic state. A delayed panic attack in fact because I had a period of numbing where I walked myself to Mures to have an ice-cream all by myself, and had many blind stares while I was waiting for the traffic lights to cross the road. Cannot believe I was in such uncomposed state. LOL.

Its one more week to Easter break! I can't wait for Easter before easter = more lively songs in church! :D

Bee Yan Gan if you're reading this, come back RIGHT NOW to cook for us! I want nasi lemak, the black black noodles, the chicken with sugar, and aiya just come back to cook la!

Purple. 23.

2010-03-24T21:57:00.006+11:00

Just for fun, I had a dig at my archives last year to see what I've written for Phyllis's birthday last year. Well, apparently she complained about not telling her before knocking her room with a surprise birthday cake because she didnt have time to dress up. And the thing is, this year, we managed to give her sufficient time to think about what to dress and make up ( I noticed that :D) and not failing to chip in a surprise birthday party still!

And for a change, we decided to challenge ourselves with the party theme of purple, just to satisfy the birthday girl who goes crazy lunatic with purple (reminds me of Melanie though).

And for another change, we decided to not buy anymore me-to-you bears, partly because they are more expensive, and less cuddly, and so we bought a gigantic mama angelbeary bear that totally outsized her.

And for another another change, we decided to have a bbq breakfast with bacon and eggs and hash brown as early as 9 am in the morning.

And for another another another change, we decided to steal - lets make it sound better - pick PURPLE flowers from around the neighbourhood for decorative purposes.

And for one final change, instead of the extremely polite and repetitively noding Phyllis with the non-stop thank yous, we had a multiple "yer yer yers" from her.

But seriously birthday girl, its about time you learn how to light candles! :D

Whatever it is, Miss, at times when we cannot physically be there to accompany you through the thick and thins in your life, remember angelbeary/ching gu /CCJJMMMSH will always be there to listen to you, to give you a beary beary big hug, and to give you our encouraging smiles when you think the world is too heavy to handle.

And I hope it reminds you to always remember us and the good old days of being a pharmacy student and having wonder five yada yada :)))))

Tragic

2010-03-22T21:50:00.002+11:00

I'm writing this because I'm trying to avoid thinking about what my tomorrow beholds for me.

Its tragic that after all the hardwork, all the efforts, all the late nights and finally ready to collect blood samples, they tell me straight to my face that they didn't collect the samples at the phase that I have been working on.

I'm trying to really avoid thinking about what will happen. I can't really pen down what really has happened properly because no one seem to get my story fully, but the end point is, I'm in deep trouble.

Probably I'm finding all these all too hard to digest and accept because I'm been living in a bed of roses. Come exams, come stressful days, but I've still managed to pull things off, often to my own amusement. And this time, for real, I've landed in a mud of problems that even I myself can't solve.

I feel so helpless. I can't help but think about all the consequences, about potentially missing out on the Bachelor title with the proud claim of an honours student, about loosing what I've been striving for for the past one year, about giving myself in to the unpredictablity of real-life science experiments.

All I can do now is cry. Cry like a baby because a fall of such is really, really painful.

Ouch :(

Top 100

2010-03-20T11:49:00.013+11:00

"Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels,
door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles.
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings.
these are a few of my favorite things."

Oh wells, because Phyllis Lee wrote about her favourite 100 things, I thought I might just spend some wise time trying to figure out what excites me most. And, more so so that you'll understand me better! :P

They are by no means in chronological order.

My favourite 100 things.

teh C peng
photography
beautiful laptop wall papers
stripes (colourful ones especially)
my family
my friends
pillow talks
goofing around
listening to music and playing free-cell
blog-hopping
shopping with mum that gives me a sense of financial security
the glees on mum and dad's face when I do well in my studies
piano
my cuddly soft toy dog that has travelled round the world with me :))
kueh chap
dragon fruit
rambutans
custard apple
SOTONG!
feeling so healthy after a good sweat out
belachan bee hoon
parcelsssss :D "brown paper packages tied up with strings"
Kuching
St Joseph catheral's church hymn
kedondong juiceeeee
smoothies
baking and eating it the instant its not too hot to eat
creaming people's face with cream
laughing
asam laksa
sunday market
driving friends around in trusty volvo *vroom vroom* - I hate driving itself though
waking up early to facebook before heading to uni
surprises!
random msn querries when i put so many :( :( :( :(
accidentally cutting my fingers and getting a school of people worrying about me
walking to university with my ipod volume tuned up to maximum
looking at Bernard playing drums in church
having William driving me to places I want to go although he might complaint a little too much
bringing tua yi out for car-rides
trips! holidays!
having everybody in the car excited about eating ice-cream at sunny hill
turning on the lights early in the morning at Aaron's room just to annoy him, especially if he's had a late night
making fun of people
gossiping
long comments on facebook status
high school musical
my late maternal grandmother
baking heart-shaped shortbread
night lights
falling asleep at the couch with the tv on
presents
being all random
a new favourite - Zumba dancing!!
big gang gatherings
prawns
hard-boiled eggs
ballet flats
money :P
the smell of lovely lace
my comforter all the way from home
clothes and things that smell of home
hoodies
red spaghetti
bananas
watermelon
lying in bed in the middle of mum and dad
rice cakes in hot korean paste
the chewy pearls in milk tea
portugese egg tarts
pushing people and make them fall on their beds
12th of December :P
the number 12
helping people with assignments out of my own field
car rides in Camry to mum's campus
rumah saya
eating whatever Carmen and Byan cooks
papaya
headbands
jotting down a page full of entry in my things-to-do planner
miss my friends when I'm in Australia
the past sleepovers with Carmen and SinHong
New Zealand!
form 2, being in class 2B
koperasi of Batu Lintang
my bear comforter cover
My sister's keeper
knowing what is wrong with a patient whenever they are admitted into hospital
jamming christmas songs with Bernard on the drums
running over to grandma's house.
Princess diaries
sling bags
Chinese New Year
Fridays
knowing someone is there to listen when I pray and He always knows everything that comes before me
annoying people in class (the picture just doesnt want to tilt)
draw trees and snails
draw on people's hand
grocery shopping
myself! :D

I didnt know it would take me close to an hour to figure out my favourite 100 things.

So, what's your favourite 100 things? Tell me! :D

"Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes,
snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
silver white winters that melt into springs,
these are a few of my favorite things."

Ten million fireflies

2010-03-19T22:02:00.002+11:00

Relationships.

They either work, or they don't.

They either click, or they just will never click.

They either make you happy like shit, or make you angry, sad, disappointed, which also makes you feel shit.

He either is yours, or he's not.

I'm by no means a master in relationships. I lost my professional counselling as I havent had a good reunion with my gang mates back at home :P, but if you're finding it hard to maintain that relationship, when you think you've been burdened and you feel happy no more, let go.

There's still a sea of guys out there, and I think you deserve someone better than this. Someone that takes care of you, someone that gives in, someone that doesn't give thousands of excuses to the things that he doesn't want to do, someone that loves you more than you love him.

So friend, whatever happens, you still have my shoulders alright?